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Is the internet bad for young people?

Is the internet bad for young people? GN6de
The Internet is a worldwide network that links computers. People may exchange information and converse through the Internet from any location with an Internet connection. Nowadays is easier than ever to know information all around the world because of the Internet. To access the internet is also easy, we can use a computer, phone, or tablet. So, now many young people are spending a lot of time online, with both positive and negative consequences. The advantages of the Internet are first, young people can use it for doing their researches and schoolwork in an easier way than before. This frequently aids teenagers in broadening their understanding of a variety of issues. Second, young people can use the Internet to improve and hone their foreign languages. Because on the Internet there are various websites to help young people learn foreign languages. It is an easy way to learn foreign languages. The last is, the Internet is a powerful distance education tool. During this pandemic, the Internet is very useful. Because by using the Internet, young people don’t need to take the risk to come directly to educational institutions every day because they can only learn from home and using the Internet can help reduce the spread of covid. On the other hand, there are also negative consequences. Some young people become addicted to online gaming and using social networks all the time. Addiction to online games can cause students to skip school, lazy to study, ignore their own health, and others. Another negative consequence of the Internet is deviant social behavior. For example, young people are less or do not want to get along with other people. Young people tend to isolate themselves and are more engrossed in enjoying the virtual world regardless of their surroundings. The conclusion is, the use of the Internet should be monitor by parents to ensure that undesired events don’t occur. The advantages of using the Internet exceed the disadvantages. Because the advantages of the Internet are very useful for young people to increase their knowledge.
The Internet is a worldwide network that links computers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may exchange information and converse through the Internet from any location with an Internet connection. Nowadays is easier than ever to know information all around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the Internet. To access the internet is
also
easy, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a computer, phone, or tablet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time online, with both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

The advantages of the Internet are
first
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for doing their researches and schoolwork in an easier way than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This
frequently
aids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in broadening their understanding of a variety of issues. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and hone their foreign languages.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
on the Internet there are various websites to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn foreign languages. It is an easy way to learn foreign languages. The last is, the Internet is a powerful distance education tool. During this pandemic, the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
by using the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t need to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
directly
to educational institutions every day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn from home and using the Internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the spread of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
.

On the other hand
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become addicted to online gaming and using social networks all the time. Addiction to online games can cause students to skip school, lazy to study,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence of the Internet is deviant social behavior.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less or do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to isolate themselves and are more engrossed in enjoying the virtual world regardless of their surroundings.

The conclusion is, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the Internet should be
Did you mean "monitored"?
monitor
by parents to ensure that undesired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
don’t occur. The advantages of using the Internet exceed the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the advantages of the Internet are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to increase their knowledge.
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IELTS essay Is the internet bad for young people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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