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Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Fewer masses believe that increasing outweigh among children, the state is responsible for this, whereas, others calm that the parents mistake behind it. So, I intend to explore both agreements along with my point of view. To regard with former point of human beings who blame the union. Firstly, in this day and age, variety of fare is found in every region of the world and people like to eat different kind of cuisine as an entertainment as well as changing tongue taste. Thus, junk snack has reasonable prices, by this, everyone can buy easily. As a result, youngsters prefer to consume corner drink rather than home made foodstuff. Which act as increase obesity. After it, the authority do not take it concerning the issue. Due to the negligence of the power, retails use poor material like oil, salt, in preparing meals and unhyigene place. Therefore, the government should make obligation in order to hygiene as well as material and so on poorer practices. Moving further to second view, moreover, though guardians are playing an essential role for nurturing of their offsprings. However, somewhere, due to some mistakes such as over love and care, it can make children stubborn. Because of this, the parents give money for eating outside instead of taking foodstuff at home. As a consequence, they may become addicted to consuming fast foodstuff which acts as surging weight. Therefore, parents should keep eye on teenagers eating habits as long as prepare same restaurant cuisine at home, which associated with rich in nutrients and reduce the chances of happening obesity. In conclusion, I think that the power and parents both are responsible in term to increase the obesity level in adults. So, the government should restrict poor material and parents should teach their offspring detrimental outcomes of ready made cooking.
Fewer masses believe that increasing outweigh among children, the state is responsible for this, whereas, others calm that the
parents
mistake behind it.
So
, I intend to explore both agreements along with my point of view.

To regard with former point of human beings who blame the union.
Firstly
, in this day and age, variety of fare
is found
in every region of the world and
people
like to eat
different
kind of cuisine as an entertainment
as well
as changing tongue taste.
Thus
, junk snack has reasonable prices, by this, everyone can
buy
easily
.
As a result
, youngsters prefer to consume corner drink
rather
than home made foodstuff. Which act as increase obesity. After it, the authority do not take it concerning the issue. Due to the negligence of the power, retails
use
poor material like oil, salt, in preparing meals and
unhyigene
place.
Therefore
, the
government
should
make
obligation in order to hygiene
as well
as material and
so
on poorer practices.

Moving
further
to second view,
moreover
, though guardians are playing an essential role for nurturing of their
offsprings
.
However
, somewhere, due to
some
mistakes such as over
love
and care, it can
make
children stubborn.
Because of this
, the
parents
give money for eating outside
instead
of taking foodstuff at home. As a consequence, they may become addicted to consuming
fast
foodstuff which acts as surging weight.
Therefore
,
parents
should
keep
eye on
teenagers
eating habits as long as prepare same restaurant cuisine at home, which associated with rich in nutrients and
reduce
the chances of happening obesity.

In conclusion
, I
think
that the power and
parents
both are responsible in term to increase the obesity level in adults.
So
, the
government
should restrict poor material and
parents
should teach their offspring detrimental outcomes of
ready made
cooking.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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