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Is technology making our lives easier

Is technology making our lives easier K0nr1
It is certainly true that technology has improved our standard of living. In my point of view, technology has positively affected in our way of living. However, kids today know more about the world because of internet but we have become over dependent on technology. Also technology and media can be a great help for old people and can communicate with their dear ones easily which make them happy. For example, Parents who are staying in India could communicate with their son who is in US by one click. On the contrary, upgraded in technology are designed to make us spend more money. The modern life press us to spend more extra on daily life such as currentbill, internet bill etc.
It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our standard of living. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in our way of living.

However
, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
know more about the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we have become over dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and media can be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and can communicate with their dear ones
easily
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy.
For example
, Parents who are staying in India could communicate with their son who is in US by one click.

On the contrary
, upgraded in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us spend more money. The modern life press us to spend more extra on daily life such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
currentbill
, internet bill etc.

IELTS essay Is technology making our lives easier

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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