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Is it true that advertisements are always harmful for children?

Is it true that advertisements are always harmful for children? lR56K
Some people believe that children should be regulated from advertisements because they think it’s harmful to them. However, I have a different opinion, I don’t agree with the statement and believe that it still has both positive things and negative hazards. It’s essential for children to watch and learn. Through watching advertisements, children can gain some useful knowledge such as the functions of medicines or marketing strategies. For instance, diapers advertisement with joyful animations, by watching it a few times can help them carve out some unique potentials as they reach their adulthood. Moreover, children can also be encouraged to live healthily. Girls can be influenced by yogurt promotions advertised by clear-skin models, hence they’ll start to imitate the lifestyle. Boys can be persuaded by a tall child saying that regular physical exercises can increase height. On the other hand, despite the advantages of children's advertising, it still has some hazardous threats toward children. Commercials that include violent content can have some unnoticeable dangers, children might misunderstand the message delivered and will start to behave naughtily. Furthermore, some advertisements promote toys and games that have a huge impact on kids’ materialistic feelings, therefore, their parents might be insisted to buy them and sometimes in an undeniable way that will force their parents to reluctantly purchase it. Overall, advertising for children is still a debatable topic to discuss and as I sum up all the idea that has been stated, I do believe that children advertising has both sides effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be regulated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s harmful to them.
However
, I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and believe that it
still
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
hazards.

It’s essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and learn. Through watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful knowledge such as the functions of medicines or marketing strategies.
For instance
, diapers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
with joyful animations, by watching it a few times can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them carve out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique potentials as they reach their adulthood.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
also
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthily
. Girls can
be influenced
by yogurt promotions advertised by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
-skin models,
hence
they’ll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to imitate the lifestyle. Boys can
be persuaded
by a tall child saying that regular physical exercises can increase height.

On the other hand
, despite the advantages of children's advertising, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hazardous threats toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Commercials that include violent content can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unnoticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might misunderstand the message delivered and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to behave
naughtily
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
promote toys and games that have a huge impact on kids’ materialistic feelings,
therefore
, their parents might
be insisted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Consider replacing "in an undeniable way" with the adverb for "undeniable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an undeniable way
that will force their parents to
reluctantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.

Overall
, advertising for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
still
a debatable topic to discuss and as I sum up all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that has
been stated
, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
advertising has both sides effects.
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IELTS essay Is it true that advertisements are always harmful for children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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