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Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on ateam or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples tosupport your answer. v.1

Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on ateam or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples tosupport your answer. v. 1
Museums are one of the most effective places in educating people about history, art and so on, and its entry price has been subject to discussion. While some museums around the world are free, there are many more that charge their visitors. Although selling tickets may seem beneficial at its surface, there have been more advantages in making them free for more visitors will be attracted this way. From a certain point of view, there may be bright sides in obtaining an entrance fee; however, they do not outweigh the disadvantages. Since museums are expensive places to run, by charging people they can pay for some of their expenses such as paying for leaders and bills and to not be a burden on governments or tax payers shoulders. Furthermore, it is in human nature that if they pay for a service, they will appreciate it more. This theory can be generalized about museum entrance fees and as a result, visitors pay more attention to the stories being told and learn better if they are being charged. The negatives associated with selling tickets carry more weight than any seemingly positive attributes. By requesting entry fee from visitors, the number of them will decrease and as much as the price goes up, this decline will increase. As a consequence, this will withdraw many people from learning about their history and ancestors, which was the main aim of museums in the first place. To be more firm, all the founded artefacts in museums only belong to the locals and no one should have the power to deprive them. To conclude, requesting fees in exchange for visiting museums has some positive points, yet the disadvantages outweigh them. Since the main role of museums is attracting people and maintaining their belongings and it can only fully be possible by making them free.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are one of the most effective places in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about history, art and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, and its entry price has been subject to discussion. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
around the world are free, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more that charge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. Although selling tickets may seem beneficial at its surface, there have been more advantages in making them free for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
will
be attracted
this way.

From a certain point of view, there may be bright sides in obtaining an entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
;
however
, they do not outweigh the disadvantages. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are expensive places to run, by charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they can pay for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their expenses such as paying for leaders and bills and to not be a burden on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
or tax payers shoulders.
Furthermore
, it is in human nature that if they pay for a service, they will appreciate it more. This theory can
be generalized
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
pay more attention to the stories being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
and learn better if they are
being charged
.

The negatives associated with selling tickets carry more weight than any
seemingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attributes. By requesting entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, the number of them will decrease and as much as the price goes up, this decline will increase. As a consequence, this will withdraw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from learning about their history and ancestors, which was the main aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in the
first
place. To be more firm, all the founded
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
belong to the locals and no one should have the power to deprive them.

To conclude
, requesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
in exchange for visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points,
yet
the disadvantages outweigh them. Since the main role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and maintaining their belongings and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fully
be possible by making them free.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on ateam or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples tosupport your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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