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Do you agree or disagree is it celebrated are paid far too much mone?

is it celebrated are paid far too much mone? e85kB
Every work must be paid, also celebrities are paid to much money. Well known people get paid deserve money, because they have talent and hard work. I tend to disagree that some stars give to high the price. In fact, essential workers such as nurses and teachers often receive low salaries. Unfortunately, it's unfairly, because they work hardly, doctors studied for many years at the university, while celebrities are often born with their talent for singing or acting. Lots stars are paid far too much money. For example, in my country singer is paid 500$ for one wedding performance, while the nurse is paid 200$ per month. Who's have fans waste their money on expensive houses, cars and parties. While many people work long time and can't buy house or car. I strongly disagree, because celebrities do not have a private life and work very hard. Before becoming famous they must spend their personal money. Very few people reach the top levels of music acting or sport. We should reward those that do. It's a case of supply and demand. We create demand by going to see their concert and buying their music. In conclusion, although each person who make the efford must get high salary for having comfortable life. The salary of celebrities and normal people should be equal
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
,
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
Did you mean "too"?
to
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Well known
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
deserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I tend to disagree that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stars give to high the price.

In fact, essential workers such as nurses and teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
receive low salaries. Unfortunately, it's
unfairly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'work'.
work hardly
, doctors studied for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years at the university, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
born with their talent for singing or acting. Lots stars are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
far too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, in my country singer is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$500".
500$
for one wedding performance, while the nurse is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$200".
200$
per month. Who's have fans waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on expensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, cars and parties. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long time and can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or car. I
strongly
disagree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
do not have a private life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reach the top levels of music acting or sport. We should reward those that do. It's a case of supply and demand. We create demand by going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their concert and buying their music.

In conclusion
, although each person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
efford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high salary for having comfortable life. The salary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
equal
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IELTS essay is it celebrated are paid far too much mone?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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