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is gap year something beneficial?

is gap year something beneficial? N8Laq
After school, people are supposed to choose their future professional path and enter university. However, is an eighteen-year old or even younger person ready to make up its mind about the next 30 years? This question often incites youth to take a gap year, traveling or merely working, while attempting to figure out what they want from life. On the one hand, a gap year is actually an excellent opportunity to spend time with oneself, try different things and understand through practice what one precisely wants to do. Instead of facing pressure from parents, time and society (why have you not entered university yet? ), a gap year is a convenient excuse to go on with a search of areas of interests. For instance, in Russia, young people are apt to enter university quite early because of their parents, who want their children to obtain a higher education degree as quickly as possible, but, unfortunately, without taking into consideration their own desires, as far as young people frequently do not even have a clue what exactly they crave. Moreover, while traveling, people discover new cultures, places and, consequently, can significantly improve their language and communicative skills, for instance, how to get along with communities from various nations. The latter is beneficial in the sense of a multicultural experience and acquisition of tolerance. On the other hand, if one works instead or traveling, one is likely to find simply a low-paid job, earn money and spend it on entertainment without trying to figure out what one would like to study in the future. As a consequence, time passes rapidly and the person only spends time constantly having fun. In other words, previous knowledge, foreign languages, history, fades, because, with no revision, information and skills are lost. All in all, a gap year facilitates the discovery of our cravings and elimination of inappropriate options while choosing a future profession. Traveling all over the world allows one to become more broad-minded and boosts one’s ability to learn about with various cultures. Nevertheless, an irresponsible gap year that brings no new knowledge except pleasure does not contribute to our future.
After school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are supposed
to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
professional path and enter university.
However
, is an eighteen-year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or even younger person ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up its mind about the
next
30 years? This question
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
incites youth to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, traveling or
merely
working, while attempting to figure out what they want from life.

On the one hand, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is actually an excellent opportunity to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with oneself, try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and understand through practice what one
precisely
wants to do.
Instead
of facing pressure from parents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and society (why have you not entered university
yet
?
Loose punctuation mark.
)
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is a convenient excuse to go on with a search of areas of interests.
For instance
, in Russia, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are apt to enter university quite early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their parents, who want their children to obtain a higher education degree as
quickly
as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, unfortunately, without taking into consideration their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
desires, as far as young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
frequently
do not even have a clue what exactly they crave.
Moreover
, while traveling,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
discover new cultures, places and,
consequently
, can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language and communicative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
for instance
, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with communities from various nations. The latter is beneficial in the sense of a multicultural experience and acquisition of tolerance.

On the other hand
, if one works
instead
or traveling, one is likely to find
simply
a low-paid job, earn money and spend it on entertainment without trying to figure out what one would like to study in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes
rapidly
and the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
constantly
having fun.
In other words
, previous knowledge, foreign languages, history, fades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, with no revision, information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are lost
.

All in all, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
facilitates the discovery of our cravings and elimination of inappropriate options while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
profession. Traveling all over the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
one to become more broad-minded and boosts one’s ability to learn about with various cultures.
Nevertheless
, an irresponsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
that brings no new knowledge except pleasure does not contribute to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay is gap year something beneficial?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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