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is gaining knowledge the only reason for studying university

is gaining knowledge the only reason for studying university p1Gad
It is a fact that aiming to learn majors is no longer the sole reason for studying at a college today. Besides, other additional purposes, which will be discussed in this essay, play an essential role when enrolling at a university. On the one hand, tertiary education is believed to be an excellent environment for those who want to broaden their horizons rather than gain knowledge. Many students hope to expand their relationship by meeting new friends or attending extra-curricular activities because they think this is how a student should enjoy their youth and graduate with an acceptable degree is the least essential purpose. Furthermore, some prestigious universities also encourage their students to be exposed to different events and activities at school more than forcing them to study. For instance, by launching various campaigns and parties to build up a more incredible bond between students and teachers, educational institutions are no longer a dull and nerve-racking place. As a result, students can be more productive to study because they can easily unwind themselves by engaging in different activities at school. On the other hand, some students want to spend their school time looking for a job than entirely focusing on their studies due to their low-income family circumstances. If they do not find a manual job to help their family, their parents will not cover all their bills, leading to massive financial burdens. Moreover, many recruiters require their employees to have different experiences at work, and hence balancing their work and study is how students enhance their soft skills to be qualified for better jobs after graduating. In conclusion, relying on students’ occupation or other relationship-related targets, gaining knowledge is no longer the ultimate purpose of studying.
It is a fact that aiming to learn majors is no longer the sole reason for studying at a college
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Besides
, other additional purposes, which will
be discussed
in this essay, play an essential role when enrolling at a university.

On the one hand, tertiary education
is believed
to be an excellent environment for those who want to broaden their horizons
rather
than gain knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
hope to expand their relationship by meeting new friends or attending extra-curricular activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should enjoy their youth and graduate with an acceptable degree is the least essential purpose.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prestigious universities
also
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
be exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and activities at school more than forcing them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For instance
, by launching various campaigns and parties to build up a more incredible bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teachers, educational institutions are no longer a dull and nerve-racking place.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be more productive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
easily
unwind themselves by engaging in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities at school.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to spend their school time looking for a job than
entirely
focusing on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
due to their low-income family circumstances. If they do not find a manual job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their family, their parents will not cover all their bills, leading to massive financial burdens.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recruiters require their employees to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experiences at work, and
hence
balancing their work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enhance their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
be qualified
for better jobs after graduating.

In conclusion
, relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
occupation or other relationship-related targets, gaining knowledge is no longer the ultimate purpose of studying.
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IELTS essay is gaining knowledge the only reason for studying university

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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