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Is college education the key to a successful life? Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Is college education the key to a successful life? MBnjo
In today’s world, especially young generation have been told that a proper university diploma is the most important element to succeed in the future. This statement is partly accurate because a diploma is a document that shows your profession and simply what you can achieve in professional life, which can upgrade your life by getting you a position you wish to be. However, a university education by itself is insufficient because individuals are expected to be multidimensional in many fields of life such as participating in social responsibility projects and achievements outside of your college like learning a new language, playing sports, etc. To begin with, social help organizations may seem irrelevant to someone’s success but there is a link between those two. A great many psychologists claim that the human nature constantly needs to be a part of a community in order to fulfill its desire to become ‘’needed’’. Fulfilling this desire automatically makes people feel important and successful. Secondly, our spare time activities play a major role in a person’s life in terms of success. For instance learning a new language can widen our perspective, increase our thinking skills or playing sports can improve our physical health by getting more oxgyen to our brain which is the center of logical thinking and making decisions. To sum up, although a college education has its own benefits to walk on the path of success in life, it is not effective without the extracurricular activities nor human interaction.
In
today
’s world,
especially
young generation have been
told
that a proper university diploma is the most
important
element to succeed in the future. This statement is partly accurate
because
a diploma is a document that
shows
your profession and
simply
what you can achieve in professional
life
, which can upgrade your
life
by getting you a position you wish to be.
However
, a university education by itself is insufficient
because
individuals are
expected
to be multidimensional in
many
fields of
life
such as participating in social responsibility projects and achievements
outside of
your college like learning a new language, playing sports, etc.

To
begin
with, social
help
organizations may seem irrelevant to someone’s success
but
there is a link between those two. A great
many
psychologists claim that the human nature
constantly
needs to be a part of a community in order to fulfill its desire to become ‘’needed’’. Fulfilling this desire
automatically
makes
people
feel
important
and successful.

Secondly
, our spare time activities play a major role in a person’s
life
in terms of success.
For instance
learning a new language can widen our perspective, increase our thinking
skills
or playing sports can
improve
our physical health by getting more
oxgyen
to our brain which is the center of logical thinking and making decisions.

To sum up, although a college education has its
own
benefits to walk on the path of success in
life
, it is not effective without the extracurricular activities nor human interaction.
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A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Is college education the key to a successful life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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