Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People Believe The Purpose Of Education Should Be Helping The Individual To Become Useful For Society

Some People Believe The Purpose Of Education Should Be Helping The Individual To Become Useful For Society BYqVm
According to some people, the objective of education is to produce individuals who can serve the society. On the other hand, others think it should help individuals to achieve their personal goals. In this essay I am going to discuss both sides and explain why I think the latter is more important. One of the main reasons why education of people plays a very important role in society is that it will give them an opportunity to help other people. For example, educating people who want to be teachers is very useful as, once they graduate, they will teach other students and help them to have more knowledge. It will result in more people receiving education and that is very important. Doctors are another example. Their education is considered as very useful because they will be able to cure ill people and save many lives. If society does not invest in educating those professionals it can have a huge negative impact on the well-being of its people. However, I agree with those who believe that education of individuals should cater more to their personal ambitions. Many of us have different preferences and I think people can achieve more if they do what they like. For example, if they study what they want, they will have more passion to learn it and master the subject they study. This will consequently make them more dedicated to the job they will do in the future and enrich their communities with the best professionals. Also, if students learn a subject they do not like, they will not be motivated to finish it and it will be waste of their time and money if they do not complete their studies. In conclusion, although studying subjects which are useful for the society has its benefits, personally I think that individuals should be given the freedom to choose their profession, as their love for the chosen profession will give them an opportunity to master their skills and become the most skilful professionals.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the objective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who can serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to achieve their personal goals. In this essay I am going to discuss both sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the latter is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

One of the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is that it will give them an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to be teachers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful as, once they graduate, they will teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have more knowledge. It will result in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Doctors are another example. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be able to cure ill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
does not invest in educating those professionals it can have a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the well-being of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should cater more to their personal ambitions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of us have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
preferences and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve more if they do what they like.
For example
, if they study what they want, they will have more passion to learn it and master the subject they study. This will
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more dedicated to the job they will do in the future and enrich their communities with the best professionals.
Also
, if students learn a subject they do not like, they will not
be motivated
to finish it and it will be waste of their time and money if they do not complete their studies.

In conclusion
, although studying subjects which are useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has its benefits,
personally
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the freedom to choose their profession, as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for the chosen profession will give them an opportunity to master their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and become the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
professionals.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some People Believe The Purpose Of Education Should Be Helping The Individual To Become Useful For Society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts