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What are the benefits of learning about nature?

What are the benefits of learning about nature? ELrWB
First of all, I guess the knowledge of nature is really important for humanity. In addition, we have huge problems with the environment. There is polluted air and water, depleted soils, increasing of population. Also, after quarantine a lot of people fully realize the fact that nature is a big part of our life. Secondly, what are the benefits of learning about nature? I suppose, the benefits of learning about nature are realizing the worth of healthy nature. I don’t hesitate that the humanity can protect and take care of nature, but for this we have to increase of knowledge about nature. Also, I suggest that a lot of people don’t understand how our lives can be terrible for world. Thirdly, I can know that many groups of nature’s protect strive to create a lot of programs for protect the environment. So, what are the benefits we can take: 1. Fresh air and water; 2. The soils aren’t depleted; 3. Improving agricultural production; 4. Increase a lot of kinds animals; 5. Improving the state of people’s health; 6. To spend time more outside. 7. To be happier. So sum up, the nature is a important part of the world that needs to study and realize that nature not only benefits humanity but also humanity must benefit nature. Only our knowledge and desire can protect and improve the nature.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I guess the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
.
In addition
, we have huge problems with the environment. There
is polluted
air and water, depleted soils, increasing of population.
Also
, after quarantine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fully
realize the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of our life.

Secondly
, what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of learning about nature?

I suppose, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
The verb 'realizing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are realizing
the worth of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
. I don’t hesitate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
and take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for this we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increase of knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
.
Also
, I suggest that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don’t understand how our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can be terrible for world.

Thirdly
, I can know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
groups of
Consider using the plural form here: "natures".
nature’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
strive to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of programs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the environment.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
we can take:

1. Fresh air and water;

2. The soils aren’t depleted;

3. Improving agricultural production;

4. Increase a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of kinds animals;

5. Improving the state of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health;

6. To spend time more outside.

7. To be happier.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the world that needs to study and realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
our knowledge and desire can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
.
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He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay What are the benefits of learning about nature?

Essay
  American English
13 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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