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Many crimes are related to consumption of alcohol.

Many crimes are related to consumption of alcohol. gq8rd
There is a connection between the increase of violent activities and the use of alcohol. It is some individuals’ popular opinion that the best method to decrease the rate of criminal activities is to prohibit the use of alcohol. In my opinion, this itself is not sufficient to reduce crimes in society and requires education as well as government intervention to succeed in this venture. Banning alcohol from a certain country can be considered as the first step towards reducing the crime rates, however, this alone will not be sufficient to control the matter. People will look into other options and avenues to gain access to alcohol. Illegal liquor and even drugs could be sought after by people as an alternative for alcohol. This creates an even higher risk for society, and would still lead to an increase in violence. Education is one of the most important measures that could be utilized to get this situation under control. Children and teenagers must be educated about the consequences of violent and illegal actions. Workshops and educational camps can instill the children with the required knowledge about how their actions have consequences and that they need to take up the responsibility to own their actions. This would teach individuals to act based on their morals starting from a very young age. Another solution is for the government to play its part by funding parties to act for the betterment of society. The government’s funding in organizations and correction centers should be increased to provide a more comprehensive service for the ones who are in need. These centers should be implemented with strict programs to facilitate and teach the wrongdoers and assist them to see right from wrong. Although they have committed a crime before, these centers will reform these individuals so that they will not participate in any such activity in the future. In conclusion, I believe that even though illegal activities can be reduced to an extent by removing the use of alcohol in society, it is not the most efficient approach to the issue. Education should inculcate morals in the minds of the children as well as the government should take steps to create an efficient program to reform the ex-convicts.
There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the increase of violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals’ popular opinion that the best method to decrease the rate of criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is to prohibit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. In my opinion, this itself is not sufficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crimes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and requires education
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
intervention to succeed in this venture.

Banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
from a certain country can
be considered
as the
first
step towards reducing the crime rates,
however
, this alone will not be sufficient to control the matter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will look into other options and avenues to gain access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. Illegal liquor and even drugs could
be sought
after by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as an alternative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. This creates an even higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, and would
still
lead to an increase in violence.

Education is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
measures that could
be utilized
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this situation under control. Children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educated
about the consequences of violent and illegal actions. Workshops and educational camps can instill the children with the required knowledge about how their actions have consequences and that they need to take up the responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their actions. This would teach individuals to act based on their morals starting from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.

Another solution is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to play its part by funding parties to act for the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
funding in organizations and correction centers should
be increased
to provide a more comprehensive service for the ones who are in need. These centers should
be implemented
with strict programs to facilitate and teach the wrongdoers and assist them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Although they have committed a crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, these centers will reform these individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not participate in any such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in the future.

In conclusion
, I believe that
even though
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to an extent by removing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, it is not the most efficient approach to the issue. Education should inculcate morals in the minds of the children
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take steps to create an efficient program to reform the ex-convicts.
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IELTS essay Many crimes are related to consumption of alcohol.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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