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is believed that developed countries no longer require economic upliftment as people are

is believed that developed countries no longer require economic upliftment as people are 2rdnk
It is believed that developed countries no longer require economic upliftment as people are already enjoying all the benefits. In addition to that, as country have nothing more to offer hence citizens will be satisfied. However, I disagree with above mentioned statement as economic development of a country is not really connected with happiness. In this essay, I would highlight why most developed countries cannot be categorized as happier countries. Economic development of any country is the major pillar to determine the lifestyle of its people. Richer the country, richer the people. But, money cannot assure happiness. Most developed countries face issues related to mental illness which is the effect of high burden and stress. In the race of becoming best people tend to forget about themselves and dis balance their own life. As per some researchers it has been observed that in countries like U. S. & Japan maximum people are consulting psychologists as they are not content with their life. Also, we can see that western countries are getting more inclined towards meditation and yoga for peacefulness. In addition to that, happiness index is not solely dependent on money. There are three basic factors to determine fulfillness among citizens of any country and that are Money, Health & Love. Hence, in order to assess happiness we need to focus on healthcare systems and social development as well. For example, India is not much economically developed country but people are satisfied due to their personal bonds with parents, friends & loved ones. To conclude, I would say that living in developed country will never guarantee happiness in your life. It totally depends on individual where he can find his own satisfaction and peace. Country only can give better jobs and fulfill basic needs.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
no longer require economic
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are already enjoying all the benefits.
In addition
to that, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have nothing more to offer
hence
citizens will
be satisfied
.
However
, I disagree with above mentioned statement as economic development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not
really
connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. In this essay, I would highlight why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cannot
be categorized
as happier countries.

Economic development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is the major pillar to determine the lifestyle of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Richer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, richer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, money cannot assure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face issues related to mental illness which is the effect of high burden and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In the race of becoming best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to forget about themselves and
Did you mean "this"?
dis
balance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. As per
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers it has
been observed
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like U. S. & Japan maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consulting psychologists as they are not content with their life.
Also
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are getting more inclined towards meditation and yoga for peacefulness.

In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
index is not
solely
dependent on money. There are three basic factors to determine
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfillness
among citizens of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and that are Money, Health &
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
.
Hence
, in order to assess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
we need to focus on healthcare systems and social development
as well
.
For example
, India is not much
economically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are satisfied
due to their personal bonds with parents, friends &
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

To conclude
, I would say that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will never guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in your life. It
totally
depends on individual where he can find his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
satisfaction and peace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can give better jobs and fulfill basic needs.
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IELTS essay is believed that developed countries no longer require economic upliftment as people are

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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