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Is advertisement successful way at persuading people to buy things ? Give your opinion.

Is advertisement successful way at persuading people to buy things? Give your opinion. bYjOB
If there were no advertisements given to us when buying things, I think that we won't be as much attracted yo a particular product or service as after receiving advertisements. From my experience I was persuaded to buy a little expensive bag which was designed with the collaboration of my favorite athlete. If my favorite athlete didn't collaborated with the bag producing company, and didn't appear on TV commercial for that bag, I wouldn't have bought it. However TV commercials, the most powerful and influential shape of advertisements, has become so common that many people has become tired of watching these commercials. There are some people who even turn off their TVs when commercials begin! In my opinion, I think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading people to buy things. Much or less, people are influenced by being advertised. There might be people who didn't even know about the particular product if they weren't advertised. If people are tired of old types of TV commercials, companies can move on to the new form of advertisements such as online advertisements. Online advertisements appear small on the webpage which do not disturb people that much like TV commercials. People are spending more time surfing on the Internet, so advertising on the internet is a successful way at persuading people to buy things. This type of advertisement is carried out by large companies such as Amazon and Ubereats.
If there were no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to us when buying things, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we won't be as much attracted yo a particular product or service as after receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. From my experience I
was persuaded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
expensive bag which
was designed
with the collaboration of my favorite athlete. If my favorite athlete didn't
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "collaborate"
collaborated
with the bag producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, and didn't appear on TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
for that bag, I wouldn't have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
TV commercials, the most powerful and influential shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
become tired of watching these commercials. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who even turn off their TVs when commercials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
!

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things. Much or less,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by
being advertised
. There might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who didn't even know about the particular product if they weren't advertised. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tired
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
types of TV commercials,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to the new form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
such as online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
appear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
webpage
which do not disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that much like TV commercials.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are spending more time surfing on the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advertising on the internet is a successful way at persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is carried
out by large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Amazon and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ubereats
.
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IELTS essay Is advertisement successful way at persuading people to buy things? Give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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