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Is a college degree necessary to be successful?

Is a college degree necessary to be successful? ke6WN
Nowadays, many people is concentration about their college degree of their children that make the degree from university is an important factor. Moreover, a university degree is a significant point to be successful and there are three reasons to support the main idea that a college degree is necessary to be successful. The first reason why a college degree is important for people's lives is because a college degree is a factor that can help people live in the future easier. Most companies have to choose their people for success and have high equality and work for their companies. That is why companies choose from a college degree. For instance, numerous companies are finding their employer with their skill due to the fact people want the employees that are suitable with their companies. Next, another reason why a college degree is advantageous is because the degree can have benefits in the future. Many people want to be a worker or want to study more in other countries. For instance, people who have to go to other country to study can use a college degree to skip their class to get the class that is due to them. However, some people think going to another country is not a nice choice. Finally, a college degree is necessary to be successful because a college degree can help increase income. People who succeed with a university degree can have high income because a college degree can demonstrate that people have more knowledge than people who do not have it. In contrast, some people do not agree with a college degree because many parents think a college degree helps to increase stress. To conclude, there are several reasons why a college degree is necessary to be successful. In addition, a college degree is a nice thing in recent years.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
concentration about their college
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degree
of their children that
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make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from university is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor.
Moreover
, a university
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degree
is a significant point to be successful and there are three
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reasons
to support the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is necessary to be successful.

The
first
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reason
why a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is
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important
for
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people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a factor that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the future easier. Most
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companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for success and have high equality and work for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
That is
why
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companies
choose from a college
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degree
.
For instance
, numerous
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companies
are finding their employer with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
due to the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want the employees that are suitable with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Next
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is advantageous is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
can have benefits in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be a worker or want to study more in other countries.
For instance
,
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people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to other country to study can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a college
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degree
to skip their
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class
to
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get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
that is
due to them.
However
,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
going to another country is not a nice choice.

Finally
, a college
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degree
is necessary to be successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase income.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who succeed with a university
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degree
can have high income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
can demonstrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more knowledge than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have it.
In contrast
,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To conclude
, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is necessary to be successful.
In addition
, a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a nice thing in recent years.
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IELTS essay Is a college degree necessary to be successful?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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