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Investing in tourism is good or bad?

Investing in tourism is good or bad? 6prXK
Tourism is a major economic and social significant that has been recognized in both developed and developing countries. More and more countries are investing in tourism to gain more profit. On the other hand, some people claim that tourism has more downsides than benefits. In my opinion, tourism has lots of positive effects on countries' economy and socializion. Tourism is one of the most important industries for developing economies and the countries wanting to earn more money give importance to tourism. If these countries make their touristic places as attracted by tourists, economy of these countries will increase. The tourism industry encompasses many different areas; therefore, it also creates jobs in many different areas for people living in these countries. Capadocia, for example, is a touristic place and there are lots of hotels, restaurants, car rental agencies, tour companies, and souvenir shops; hence, tourism can provide employment for people. The fact that various workplaces will increase the income of these countries. The economy of the country is increasing, so is the life standard. More tourists may want to visit the country the life life standard is high so this country earn more money. It is necessary for governments to introduce their countries to other people from other countries in order to enchance their income. That country is recommended by the tourists visiting this country might be more reliable for people than advertising. Consequently, more people from different countries will visit the country more consciously. For these reasons, it is possible to say that tourism can have benefits on a countries' economy. Another point to consider is how people living in a touristic country are affected by tourism. The advantage of living in a touristic country is that native people, whether they work in places for tourism or not, can get to know the different cultures of tourists by communicating with them. After communicating, they could learn the language from tourists; henceforth, these people will have better education and they can go abroad for better jobs. These people also gain different point of views while communicating. In conclusion, tourism can bring many economic and social benefits, particularly in developed and developing countries. I suggest that countries invest in this sector; therefore, they can increase their income from it. Native people may also get different perspectives by talking with tourists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
is a major economic and social significant that has
been recognized
in both developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to gain more profit.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has more downsides than benefits. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
socializion
.

Tourism is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
industries for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
wanting to earn more money give importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their touristic places as attracted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will increase. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry encompasses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
areas;
therefore
, it
also
creates jobs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
areas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Capadocia
,
for example
, is a touristic place and there are lots of hotels, restaurants, car rental agencies, tour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and souvenir shops;
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can provide employment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The fact that various workplaces will increase the income of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is the life standard. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
may want to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the
Possible typo: you repeated a word
life life
standard is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
earn more money. It is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
enchance
their income. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is recommended
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might be more reliable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than advertising.
Consequently
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more
consciously
. For these reasons, it is possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can have benefits on a countries' economy.

Another point to consider is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a touristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. The advantage of living in a touristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is that native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whether they work in places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
or not, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
by communicating with them. After communicating, they could learn the language from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
; henceforth, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have better
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they can go abroad for better jobs. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
point of views while communicating.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economic and social benefits,
particularly
in developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
invest in this sector;
therefore
, they can increase their income from it. Native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
perspectives by talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
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IELTS essay Investing in tourism is good or bad?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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