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Introducing about myself and any thing that I want to do

Introducing about myself and any thing that I want to do W5ok5
I was born in 2003. So, end of this year I will eighteen years old. My old nickname was called Moai but my mother’s friend calls me Moji that’s why my name is Moji. I live in Bangkok with my parents since I was born. There were only three members in my family but my cousin’s house not far away from mine. My father has his own business and my mother works as an office worker. I studied at Khemasiri memorial school for twelve years. It is a Thai school and I studied in English - Math major. I graduated from this school in April. I did many things in school and I enjoyed everything that I did. In my free time, I like to listening to music, watching TV, spending time with friends, and baking. I practice a lot about baking because I want to get better. The goal that I want to achieve at PC has many things. Firstly, I get a good grade at this level. Secondly, I hope my English has been improved and it better to use in daily life and the last one, I hope I can pass this level and skip to level 4 because I want to study at MUIC quickly. Another goal for my future after I graduated from MUIC has many things too. Firstly, I want to open a cafe and hostel. Secondly, I want to study abroad for a master’s degree. And the last one, I want to spend my time in Japan much more than now. To summarize, Although I graduated from Thai school, I’ll do my best and study hard. I hope I’ll enjoy myself with English and friends not only at PC but also MUIC.
I
was born
in 2003.
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So
,
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end
of this year I will eighteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. My
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
nickname
was called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moai
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but
my mother’s friend calls me
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Moji
that’s why my name is
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Moji
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Bangkok with my parents since I
was born
. There were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three members in my family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my cousin’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
not far away from mine. My father has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and my mother works as an office worker. I studied at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khemasiri
memorial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for twelve years. It is a Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and I studied in English
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Math major. I graduated from this
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school
in April. I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and I enjoyed everything that I did. In my free time, I like to listening to music, watching TV, spending time with friends, and baking. I practice a lot about baking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better. The goal that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to achieve at PC has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade at this level.
Secondly
, I hope my English has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and it better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in daily life and the last one, I hope I can pass this level and skip to level 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to study at
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUIC
quickly
. Another goal for my future after I graduated from
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUIC
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things too.
Firstly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to open a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and hostel.
Secondly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to study abroad for a master’s degree. And the last one, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend my time in Japan much more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
To summarize
, Although I graduated from Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I’ll do my best and study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. I hope I’ll enjoy myself with English and friends not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at PC
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUIC
.
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IELTS essay Introducing about myself and any thing that I want to do

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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