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INTRODUCE YOURSELF ABOUT LEADERSHIP

INTRODUCE YOURSELF ABOUT LEADERSHIP BMxDX
I am a final-year Mechatronics Engineering student at King Mongkut's University of Technology Thonburi, and I am interested in applying for the CP ALL New Gen (Future Leader Program) with CP All Public Company Limited, as advertised on the company's Facebook page. have attached my curriculum vitae for your consideration. The company's vision and I can both support each other, so management trainee in the Future Leader Program appeals to me. I have a long history of leadership, including serving as student president in high school, gaining a leadership scholarship from the university, and participating in a variety of events over a six-year span with the purpose of improving new leaders, making improvements, and instilling a love of learning through the use of all of my power and strength. Furthermore, I am interested in every field of company, including people management, marketing, and so on, and want to accumulate experience by working in real-life situations. As student president, I was in charge of successfully coordinating all student activities and events. Every day, I had to put in a lot of effort, going from study mode to working mode, which helped me greatly develop myself and grow up to be courageous, efficient communicator, and mindful core. Since starting university, I've been involved in a tutorial club for about 8 camps, teaching children in rural schools and students who want to improve their learning skills. I've developed my people management, problem-solving, and organizational skills. Then, in my final year, I was awarded a leadership scholarship and was required to complete one project. My project is called "Communication of Students in KMUTT" (CoS I'm KMUTT), and I'm the project president. This initiative promotes participation in order to create new change agents capable of brainstorming, solving problems, and achieving results. I would be grateful for the chance to talk more about the program with you. Please accept my sincere gratitude for your time and consideration.
I am a final-year Mechatronics Engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at King
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mongkut
's University of Technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thonburi
, and I
am interested
in applying for the CP ALL New Gen (Future Leader Program) with CP All Public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
Limited, as advertised on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's Facebook page.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
attached my curriculum vitae for your consideration.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's vision and I can both support each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
management trainee in the Future Leader Program appeals to me. I have a long history of leadership, including serving as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
president in high school, gaining a leadership scholarship from the university, and participating in a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
over a six-year span with the purpose of improving new leaders, making improvements, and instilling a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of learning through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of all of my power and strength.
Furthermore
, I
am interested
in every field of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
management, marketing, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, and want to accumulate experience by working in real-life situations.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
president, I was in charge of
successfully
coordinating all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Every day, I had to put in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort, going from study mode to working mode, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me
greatly
develop myself and grow up to be courageous, efficient communicator, and mindful core. Since starting university, I've
been involved
in a tutorial club for about 8 camps, teaching children in rural schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I've developed my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
management, problem-solving, and organizational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Then, in my final year, I
was awarded
a leadership scholarship and
was required
to complete one project. My project
is called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Communication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
KMUTT
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
CoS
I'm
Possible spelling mistake found.
KMUTT
), and I'm the project president. This initiative promotes participation in order to create new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
agents capable of brainstorming, solving problems, and achieving results.

I would be grateful for the chance to talk more about the program with you.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
accept my sincere gratitude for your time and consideration.
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IELTS essay INTRODUCE YOURSELF ABOUT LEADERSHIP

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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