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Internet is not the best place to find information

Internet is not the best place to find information qQo9X
Technological advances are still ongoing to this day, including internet connection. That vast network gives extremely big effects on human life which are truly helpful. Internet is like being our personal assistants in living our daily lives. Through the internet, we could find almost everything that we need. From how to cook an omelet, to how to assemble a swimming pool. Despite the convenience it provides, the internet is not a reliable source for obtaining information. They could post literally everything they want and believe to be true, even though they may have not credible sources for the information they share on there. For instance, I used to search through the internet on things prohibited when women are on period. There said that we are not allowed to drink cold water because it would make our period blood freeze. When I consult a doctor, she said that it is totally fine of drinking cold water even though we are in period. While there are millions of people on the internet, somebody or groups of people may also disguise themselves as an expert in certain fields in order to share false information. A bunch of people just want to have fun on the internet by seeing others miserable or just to gain benefits. My friend was the example of the victim by those people. She was looking for acne treatment and there was a website that was quite convincing. Because of that, my friend bought the acne treatment which was suggested by the seller of that website and her face became worse because of that. Internet may be a very handy helpful of many things we need in every second of our life, but do not make it as your main source of information you need. On the other side of the internet, there are thousands of information that is not 100% guaranteed to be true. Besides, people around the world absolutely use the internet and we do not know which one of them is truly themselves when they are on the internet. They may refer to themselves as someone else.
Technological advances are
still
ongoing to this day, including internet connection. That vast network gives
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
effects on human life which are
truly
helpful. Internet is like being our personal assistants in living our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Through the internet, we could find almost everything that we need. From how to cook an omelet, to how to assemble a swimming pool. Despite the convenience it provides, the internet is not a reliable source for obtaining information.

They could post
literally
everything they want and believe to be true,
even though
they may have not credible sources for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they share on there.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to search through the internet on things prohibited when women are on period. There said that we are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to drink
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our period blood freeze. When I consult a doctor, she said that it is
totally
fine of drinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
water
even though
we are in period.

While there are millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the internet, somebody or groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
also
disguise themselves as an expert in certain fields in order to share false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. A bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to have fun on the internet by seeing others miserable or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to gain benefits. My friend was the example of the victim by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. She was looking for acne treatment and there was a website that was quite convincing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the acne treatment which
was suggested
by the seller of that website and her face became worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that.

Internet may be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy helpful of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things we need in every second of our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it as your main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
you need. On the other side of the internet, there are thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
not 100% guaranteed to be true.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
we do not know which one of them is
truly
themselves when they are on the internet. They may refer to themselves as someone else.
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IELTS essay Internet is not the best place to find information

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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