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Internet is good or bad? Write your view

Internet is good or bad? Write your view GLeBL
Nowadays, in this modern era we can see that internet is one of the important part of life. According to one survey, India is second largest internet users country all over the world. First of all, from my point of view, internet is good and necessary for our easy life. It has many uses for example, ticket booking, by internet it is possible to talk and see a person who lives in other country (video call). For online shopping internet is essential, by that online system, we can purchase anything while staying at home. However, because of this online shopping system small businessman or shopkeeper suffering, customers are attracted to buying things on mobile. From my opinion, use of internet in net-banking or in online payment is much better than cash payment, by that now cashless payment is possible so no more fear of bribe. Secondly, internet system is very useful for students. They can search anything and study it more in detail. For example, one Indian boy make robot at his home without any training only by internet. Internet is best for online marketing, company can post about their ideas, offers, placement on social media free of cost. Nowadays, people make videos and post it on some famous app like YouTube, Instagram and show their talent, viewers like it and share it so that content creator earn some money. In conclusion, everything has their two side likewise, internet has also some side effects. Main effect is that addiction of phone, immature children watch p*** video and some content that they should not watch. I guess internet is good if we use it in a proper way.
Nowadays, in this modern era we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that internet is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of life. According to one survey, India is second largest internet users country all over the world.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, from my point of view, internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and necessary for our easy life. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
for example
, ticket booking, by internet it is possible to talk and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in other country (video call). For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping internet is essential, by that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything while staying at home.
However
,
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businessman or shopkeeper suffering, customers
are attracted
to buying things on mobile. From my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet in net-banking or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
payment is much better than cash payment, by that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
cashless payment is possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no more fear of bribe.
Secondly
, internet system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for students. They can search anything and study it more in detail.
For example
, one Indian boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
robot at his home without any training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by internet. Internet is best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can post about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, offers, placement on social media free of cost. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
videos and post it on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
app like YouTube, Instagram and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent, viewers like it and share it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that content creator earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.
In conclusion
, everything has their two side
likewise
, internet has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
side effects. Main effect is that addiction of phone, immature children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
p*** video and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
content that they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. I guess internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.

IELTS essay Internet is good or bad? Write your view

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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