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International travel allows people to gain a deeper understanding of foreign countries and cultures.

International travel allows people to gain a deeper understanding of foreign countries and cultures. It is also argued that it contributes positively to an individual’s way of thinking. I agree with the argument that people who travel overseas are more likely to be tolerant and cooperative. To begin with, people of different nationalities have their own traditions, beliefs and behaviours. If an individual decides to go abroad for a short-time, they may encounter many challenges during their visit such as language, food and local culture. This experience helps to broaden their horizons and their mindset. Studies have shown that a person is more likely to improve his level of tolerance and understanding of cultures and people when they travel abroad. Therefore, international travel is often seen as an important life experience. Another point is that individuals who have visited international destinations tend to change their view about social problems in their own country. For example, it is noticeable that many countries face the problem of racism in certain ways. However, if people had some experience travelling abroad, they are more likely to accept and respect race, beliefs and cultures. Moreover, they try to imitate certain behaviours in order to feel more comfortable themselves when interacting with local people. By contrast, if a society is less tolerant and less understanding, the community as a whole will not overcome their social problems. In conclusion, having the opportunities to meet and interact with people of different cultures has an impact on the way people think about their own traditions. It helps to rethink and open the mind to embrace more of the values and traditions of their own country.
International
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travel
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allows
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people
to gain a deeper understanding of foreign
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countries
and
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cultures
. It is
also
argued that it contributes
positively
to an individual’s way of thinking. I
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agree
with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
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travel
overseas are more likely to be tolerant and cooperative.

To
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begin
with,
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people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions, beliefs and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviours’ is British English.
behaviours
. If an individual decides to go abroad for a short-time, they may encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges during their visit such as language, food and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. This experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to broaden their horizons and their mindset. Studies have shown that a person is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his level of tolerance and understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
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people
when they
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travel
abroad.
Therefore
, international
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travel
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life experience.

Another point is that individuals who have visited international destinations tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their view about social problems in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
.
For example
, it is noticeable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face the problem of racism in certain ways.
However
, if
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people
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience travelling abroad, they are more likely to accept and respect race, beliefs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Moreover
, they try to imitate certain
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviours’ is British English.
behaviours
in order to feel more comfortable themselves when interacting with local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By contrast, if a society is less tolerant and less understanding, the community as a whole will not overcome their social problems.

In conclusion
, having the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
has an impact on the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to rethink and open the mind to embrace more of the values and traditions of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay International travel allows people to gain a deeper understanding of foreign countries and cultures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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