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A huge land area to build and encourage new workers are the advantages from moving industries to outside the city.

A huge land area to build and encourage new workers are the advantages from moving industries to outside the city. By Moving industries to regional area make more and more people getting new jobs in compliance with decreased the number of unemployment. This is to say, if companies moves to other regency, they will looking for a big number of people to work in their industry, while air pollution will increase. For example, Club water mineral industry moved their factory from Makassar to Takalar in 2006, they hire local people to work in every position in that company except the manager, and this is results of many people got a new job after becoming an unemployment for 2 years. If this continuously runs, all people will get a better job and salary for their life. Granted, a big area for factory provided in outside the city in compliance with a healthy workers. This is because, there are still many available land for a big factory, while a lot of tress will be cut for it. For instance, in 2018 Champion clothing company decided to moving their industry to Majalengka, they build new factory with complete recreational facility for their workers such as Gym, Laundry, and rest room, and this is results the employment more stronger. Hence, the industry can adding new buildings for their factory. In conclusion, a new jobs are giving for people and bigger land area for the industry are the merits of moving industries to other city.
A huge land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to build and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
workers are the advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to outside the city.

By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in compliance with decreased the number of unemployment. This is to say, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to other regency, they will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
looking
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, while air pollution will increase.
For example
, Club water mineral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Makassar
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Takalar
in 2006, they hire local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work in every position in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
except the manager, and this is results of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after becoming an unemployment for 2 years. If this
continuously
runs, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and salary for their life.

Granted, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
provided in outside the city in compliance with
The plural noun “workers” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a healthy worker” or “healthy workers”?
a healthy workers
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
available land for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
, while
Possible agreement error. The noun tress seems to be countable; consider using: “a lot of tresses”.
a lot of tress
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
for it.
For instance
, in 2018 Champion clothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Majalengka
, they build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
with complete recreational facility for their workers such as Gym, Laundry, and
The noun “restroom” is spelled as one word.
rest room
, and this
The verb form seems incorrect.
is results
the employment
Use only “stronger” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more stronger
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
buildings for their factory.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are giving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and bigger land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
are the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to other city.
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IELTS essay A huge land area to build and encourage new workers are the advantages from moving industries to outside the city.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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