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International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problems caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problems caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits. LYO8
In recent times, tourism industry has grown to a larger extent and it is irrefutable that it is one of the largest industries in the world. A section of the society agrees that the disadvantages of this industry outweighs its advantages, while there are other who disagree with this notion. I tend to believe that the international tourism sector has more merits than demerits. There are numerous sectors in this world that has grown rapidly, and tourism field is inevitably one of them. However, some people incline towards considering the problems associated with this industry by overlooking its upsides. Individual safety and insecure money transactions are two of the most significant reasons for such belief. For instance, when travelling to a new place, payments should be made via online for travel and accommodation, which does not assure any security, even though third parties claim that the payment would be secure. In addition to this, safety of an individual could be a concern while exploring a new place. On the other hand, by visiting a place which is completely new, could enable people to learn the cultural differences across the globe. For example, an Indian who is destined to explore China could be elucidated about China’s traditions, cultural habits and their lifestyle. Consequently, this makes the individual to respect the culture of other people which obviously enhances the inhabitant’s cultural value. In addition to this, people could be more sociable among fellow citizens that leads to a diversified yet more integrated relationship. Last but not the least, this travel industry could also connect people from various languages that develops a multilingual community to a greater extent. To conclude, in line with the views presented above it is clear that tourism industry nourishes the cultural values of all the habitants throughout the world. Hence, considering the advantages and the favorable impacts the tourism sector has on the people’s cultural heritage and tradition, I reiterate that tourism industry should be considered a boon and its demerits could be neglected.
In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has grown to a larger extent and it is irrefutable that it is one of the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in the world. A section of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the disadvantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
outweighs its advantages, while there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "others"?
other
who disagree with this notion. I tend to believe that the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector has more merits than demerits.

There are numerous sectors in this world that has grown
rapidly
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
field is
inevitably
one of them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
incline towards considering the problems associated with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
by overlooking its upsides. Individual safety and insecure money transactions are two of the most significant reasons for such belief.
For instance
, when travelling to a new place, payments should
be made
via online for travel and accommodation, which does not assure any security,
even though
third parties claim that the payment would be secure.
In addition
to this, safety of an individual could be a concern while exploring a new place.

On the other hand
, by visiting a place which is completely new, could enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences across the globe.
For example
, an Indian who
is destined
to explore China could
be elucidated
about China’s traditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
habits and their lifestyle.
Consequently
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the individual to respect the culture of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
obviously
enhances the inhabitant’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
value.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be more sociable among fellow citizens that leads to a diversified
yet
more integrated relationship. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, this travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
could
also
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various languages that develops a multilingual community to a greater extent.

To conclude
, in line with the views presented above it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
nourishes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values of all the habitants throughout the world.
Hence
, considering the advantages and the favorable impacts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector has on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
heritage and tradition, I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
should
be considered
a boon and its demerits could
be neglected
.

IELTS essay International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problems caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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