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International Sports Events

International Sports Events RVlRW
International events like sports, music is a great way to unite countries in one place. However, like in everything, hosting these events has advantages and disadvantages. First of all, inviting the countries to the event costs a great amount of money. To create such areas for swimming, skating, biking etc. , the country must use their money deposits. For example in Brazil, which is a third-degree country, people are suffering from many things like starvation, homelessness or being economically draught. Brazil, however, hosts an international sports event in their country and spend all of their money on the necessary equipment. Of course, there may be a fund for these events but it is covering only the tip of the iceberg. In another point of view, being a host of an international event can popularise the country's name. In August 2021, Olympic Games in Japan is the most popular event that everyone talks about. Touristically, the demand trips for to Japan is increasing day by day. Also, the folks are focusing on winning those events. Thus, it strengths the bond between them. People are forgetting all those bad things that happen in their country for a minute and cheer for their team's success. In events like that, the sportsmanship is on the point that no one ever thinks politically. Everyone is united, there is a peace that covers everything. In summary, international sports event is neither good nor bad. The answer to that question depends on the country. If it is a third-degree country, then the answer should be in a way that says those events are bad. While it is an enormous advertisement, still the costs are too high to cover in a short period. In an economically wealthy country, these events can be hosted just for increasing popularity and attracting more tourist groups. Either way, it is pretty clear that these international events are an escape from the real world for everyone and cheer for a while.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like sports, music is a great way to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in one place.
However
, like in everything, hosting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
has advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, inviting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
costs a great amount of money. To create such areas for swimming, skating, biking etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money deposits.
For example
in Brazil, which is a third-degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things like starvation, homelessness or being
economically
Consider using a past participle here: "draughted".
draught
. Brazil,
however
, hosts an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and spend all of their money on the necessary equipment.
Of course
, there may be a fund for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is covering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the tip of the iceberg.

In another point of view, being a host of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'popularise' is British English.
popularise
the country's name. In August 2021, Olympic Games in Japan is the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
that everyone talks about.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Touristically
, the demand trips for to Japan is increasing day by day.
Also
, the folks are focusing on winning those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Thus
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it strengths
the bond between them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are forgetting all those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things that happen in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a minute and cheer for their team's success. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like that, the sportsmanship is on the point that no one ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
politically
. Everyone
is united
, there is a peace that covers everything.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. The answer to that question depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If it is a third-degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, then the answer should be in a way that says those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. While it is an enormous advertisement,
still
the costs are too high to cover in a short period. In an
economically
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can
be hosted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for increasing popularity and attracting more tourist groups. Either way, it is pretty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are an escape from the real world for everyone and cheer for a while.
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IELTS essay International Sports Events

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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