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International sporting events like the Olympics and football World Cup place huge financial burdens on host nations that cannot be justified. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

International sporting events like the Olympics and football World Cup place huge financial burdens on host nations that cannot be justified. with this opinion? MMJqe
It’s argued that the financial costs sustained by nations that host International sporting events such as the Olympics Games and the football World Cup are unjustified. Although I partly agree that the huge investments made in these occasions are often managed badly and may be better suited for more valuable resources such as health and education, In my opinion, generally the high financial burden can be justified by all the costs a host nation has to sustain in order to improve different infrastructures and services. On the one hand, the expense for hosting great sporting events is enormous and it includes spending on a variety of services and facilities. The management of such managing a huge amount of money can be very difficult and can end up wasting resources. Host nations often break the law which turns into corruption, shady political maneuvers but also the degrading condition of workers that are reduced to slavery to contruct sport centres. Such as in Qatar, where degrading conditions IN workplaces is causing the death of many people who are working to build the stadium for the World Cup of 2022 and the government is trying to cover it from the public. Thus, it would be fair to spend all available resources on more important services, such as health and education. On the other hand, when hosting an international sporting event there are many investments that must be made in order to improve facilities and build new infrastructures, which then remain at the disposal of citizens, that can enjoy them even after the event has concluded. Money is also devoted to strengthen public security and transportation, which are very important to guaranty a peaceful and comfortable stay to the visitors. Overall, huge investments are requested to provide the host city with the APPROPRIATE facilities, contributing greatly to the nation’S visibility around the world and its economy. To conclude, even though there is often a high-risk factor in hosting big events, huge investments are required WHICH can be beneficial for the community and the host nation itself.
It’s argued that the financial costs sustained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
International sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the Olympics Games and the football World Cup
are unjustified
. Although I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
made in these occasions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
managed
badly
and may be better suited for more valuable resources such as health and education, In my opinion,
generally
the high financial burden can
be justified
by all the costs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
sustain in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
infrastructures and services.

On the one hand, the expense for hosting great sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is enormous and it includes spending on a variety of services and facilities. The management of such managing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
amount of money can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting resources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
break the law which turns into corruption, shady political maneuvers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the degrading condition of workers that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to slavery to
Possible spelling mistake found.
contruct
sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. Such as in Qatar, where degrading conditions IN workplaces is causing the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are working to build the stadium for the World Cup of 2022 and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is trying to cover it from the public.
Thus
, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to spend all available resources on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
services, such as health and education.

On the other hand
, when hosting an international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
facilities and build new infrastructures, which then remain at the disposal of citizens, that can enjoy them even after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has concluded. Money is
also
devoted to strengthen public security and transportation, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to guaranty a peaceful and comfortable stay to the visitors.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
are requested
to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
city with the APPROPRIATE facilities, contributing
greatly
to the
Did you mean "nation’s"?
nation’S
visibility around the world and its economy.

To conclude
,
even though
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factor in hosting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
are required
WHICH can be beneficial for the community and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
itself.
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IELTS essay International sporting events like the Olympics and football World Cup place huge financial burdens on host nations that cannot be justified. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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