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International businesses are promoted in many nations, but some argue that these businesses only focus on making money rather than taking social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

International businesses are promoted in many nations, but some argue that these businesses only focus on making money rather than taking social responsibilities. with this statement? Jw0Lw
It has been generally true that promoting multinational companies in many countries is an indispensable part in the globalization age nowadays. While it is agreed that these enterprises should just concentrate on generating profits, I am of opinion that earning money and being responsible for community are equally vital. On the one hand, it has been undeniable that any international corporation needs to make money for some reasons. The first rationale for this argument is that companies need running cost to develop and maintain survival of themselves. This is mainly because they need stable capital to pay their employees and buy some materials for their produce. Another feasible reason is that when an enterprise generates a great deal of money, they could contribute a huge amount of budget for local government. As a result, this assistant can help host country to hunger eradication and poverty alleviation in rural or remote areas. On the other hand, I deem that it is extremely necessary for transitional firms to pay more attention and contribute for society. Firstly, if international enterprises spend a small amount of their profit on public activities, their reputation are able to be well-known and viral without costing a huge budget for advertisement. For example, by providing financial scholarship for less fortunate students or building house for poor people, local residents may know more about their products and services. Secondly, these companies should investment in protecting environment in their surroundings. To be more specific, when discharging waste garbage from their manufacturing, ecosystem would be able to be destroy, which cause harmful effects on creatures of wildlife. In conclusion, although there are a number of pivotal reasons why multinational enterprises should focus on earning profit for themselves, I am convinced that contributing for community is a wise investment of companies.
It has been
generally
true that promoting multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries is an indispensable part in the globalization age nowadays. While it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enterprises
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
concentrate on generating profits, I am of opinion that earning money and being responsible for community are
equally
vital.

On the one hand, it has been undeniable that any international corporation needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. The
first
rationale for this argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need running cost to develop and maintain survival of themselves. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need stable capital to pay their employees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
materials for their produce. Another feasible reason is that when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enterprise
generates a great deal of money, they could contribute a huge amount of budget for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
As a result
, this assistant can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
host country to hunger eradication and poverty alleviation in rural or remote areas.

On the other hand
, I deem that it is
extremely
necessary for transitional firms to pay more attention and contribute for society.
Firstly
, if international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enterprises
spend a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of their profit on public activities, their reputation are able to be well-known and viral without costing a huge budget for advertisement.
For example
, by providing financial scholarship for less fortunate students or building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, local residents may know more about their products and services.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should investment in protecting environment in their surroundings. To be more specific, when discharging waste garbage from their manufacturing, ecosystem would be able to be
Consider using a past participle here: "destroyed".
destroy
, which cause harmful effects on creatures of wildlife.

In conclusion
, although there are a number of pivotal reasons why multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enterprises
should focus on earning profit for themselves, I
am convinced
that contributing for community is a wise investment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
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IELTS essay International businesses are promoted in many nations, but some argue that these businesses only focus on making money rather than taking social responsibilities. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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