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Entertainment are more important than scientists to what extend do you agree with the statement support your view with relevant example from your own experience?

Entertainment are more important than scientists dlkrX
Entertainers play vital role in human life because they entertain others and relieve their stress by cracking jokes. But scientists are also important because they discover new technologies like phones, computer and machines. However, I will discuss my view points in further paragraph. To begin with, first and foremost reason is that entairners are very essential instead of scientists because nowadays people are very busy in their life so that 's why they do not have time to enjoy their life due to entainters they watch comedy movie and laugh a lot. Secondly, people also relief their stress and tensions by watching comedy movies. In comedy movies they crack jokes and add some spices in movie. To cite an example, A famous comedy show was telecasting on television at every sunday 9pm. This show hosted by famous comedian kapil sharma. So many families specially, women's watched this show and reduce their whole day stress. Probing ahead, scientists are important because they discover new technologies and also enhance cognizance about science. But, educated people know about science so they care about otherwise, no one care about science like literate people. Moreover, everyone know the entairners so uneducated they support them. Because housewife 's also watch comedy videos during they work in kitchen so they that because of comedian women reduce their daily life stress. To instance with, many time we read in newspaper comedian hosted the show in orphanage where children's are not physically fit to distribute happiness. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that through comedians life becomes colorfully and enjoyfull without entertains life become dull.
Entertainers play vital role in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they entertain others and relieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
by cracking jokes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
scientists are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they discover new technologies like phones, computer and machines.
However
, I will discuss my view points in
further
paragraph. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost reason is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
entairners
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential
instead
of scientists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that 's why they do not have time to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
entainters
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
and laugh a lot.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
relief their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and tensions by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
they crack jokes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. To cite an example, A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
was telecasting on television at every
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
9pm. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
hosted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedian
Possible spelling mistake found.
kapil
Possible spelling mistake found.
sharma
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
specially
, women's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their whole day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. Probing ahead, scientists are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they discover new technologies and
also
enhance cognizance about science.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they care about
otherwise
, no one care about science like literate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "knows", "knew".
know
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
entairners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
uneducated they support them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
housewife 's
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
videos during they work in kitchen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedian
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. To instance with,
Did you mean "many times" or "much time"?
many time
we read in newspaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedian
hosted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
in orphanage where children's are not
physically
fit to distribute happiness.

To sum up, I would like to reiterate that through
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "comedians'" or "comedian's"?
comedians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
becomes
colorfully
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoyfull
without entertains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
become dull.
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IELTS essay Entertainment are more important than scientists

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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