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Internaltional tourist is the biggest industry. it often creates tension rather than understanding to people from different culture. what extend?

Internaltional tourist is the biggest industry. it often creates tension rather than understanding to people from different culture. what extend? aQo2w
In the day and age, with global development, it is supposed that oversea tourist have been becomes one of the most service industry but there is a plethora of emegered controversies. Many people reckon that the benefit of international tourist about understanding to people from different culture is less than created tension. From my point of views, I am convinced denifitely that the merits of travelling to other countries are always demonated. On the one hand, it is understandable why international tourist makes some tention. Clearly, there is numerous visitors are prond to culture shocks when they come a strange nation. Due to do not have a deep grasp about law in this nation, it is easy for them to face strugges, particularly contravention of law which making a tremendous amount of urgent for local residents. Then, in some of cases, when this mistake of travellers is increased with a large numer, it is hard to avoid leading to conflicts. On the other hand, although I can not deny about the above disadvantage, I strongly believe that this drawback is overshadowed by the perks. First, I agree that international travel sometimes have little tension with misunderstanding cause. However, after that, if it is resolved, local people will be close other foriegners more and appriciate more. What is more, when visitors prepare to come to a new country, they often look for information about this nation, so, these problems will be happen rarely. Secondly, approaching a new country facilitates travelers to gain a tremedous amount of real knowledge. Obviously, it is a good way to broaden their horizon about people and verious culture. As well as, first hand experience is the most interesting thing because reality is usually so far different with magerzines or books. In conclusion, while it is deniable that the existion of verse, I always lean toward that international tourist gives more advantages than disadvantages.
In the day and age, with global development, it
is supposed
that oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
have been becomes one of the most service industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a plethora of
Possible spelling mistake found.
emegered
controversies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
about understanding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture is less than created tension. From my point of views, I
am convinced
Possible spelling mistake found.
denifitely
that the merits of travelling to other countries are always
Possible spelling mistake found.
demonated
.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
tention
.
Clearly
,
Did you mean "there are numerous visitors"?
there is numerous visitors
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
prond
to culture shocks when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a strange nation. Due to do not have a deep grasp about law in this nation, it is easy for them to face
Possible spelling mistake found.
strugges
,
particularly
contravention of law which making a tremendous amount of urgent for local residents. Then, in
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the cases") or simply say "some cases".
some of cases
, when this mistake of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
is increased
with a large
Possible spelling mistake found.
numer
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to avoid leading to conflicts.

On the other hand
, although I can not deny about the above disadvantage, I
strongly
believe that this drawback
is overshadowed
by the perks.
First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
tension with misunderstanding cause.
However
, after that, if it
is resolved
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be close other
Possible spelling mistake found.
foriegners
more and
Possible spelling mistake found.
appriciate
more.
What is more
, when visitors prepare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a new country, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
look for information about this nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these problems will be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
rarely.
Secondly
, approaching a new country facilitates travelers to gain a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tremedous
amount of real knowledge.
Obviously
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to broaden their horizon about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
verious
culture.
As well
as,
'first hand' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "first-hand".
first hand
experience is the most interesting thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
reality is
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
magerzines
or books.

In conclusion
, while it is deniable that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
existion
of verse, I always lean toward that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
gives more advantages than disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Internaltional tourist is the biggest industry. it often creates tension rather than understanding to people from different culture. what extend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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