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Integrated speaking (question 3)the Darien college announces appointment of new English professor v.1

Integrated speaking (question 3)the Darien college announces appointment of new English professor v. 1
Now a day, supermarkets are stocked with the food products around the world. Most of the nation, the overseas food is dominating the local food as the popularity among the people is increasing and taking the place of it. It has untoward repercussions on the humans. I agreed with the former statement. I will elaborate my pint of view with proper arguments and examples in the successive paragraphs. To begin with, folks are forgetting their cultural meal taste with enhancing the fame of the foreign vegetables and fruits. To illustrate, Japanese folks absolutely forget their local food relish with the influence of the other country food. Thus, it has detrimental effects on the group as it is prolonging the gap between the local food and its native consumers. Furthermore, food is imported from the far distance by the seas, roads and air. The vehicles used for transporting exhausts the fume which pollutes the atmosphere. The health of living one's are demolishing with the polluted environment. It is also initiating the numerous illness in the society and families. Further move, the harmful chemicals is used to protect the food from decaying. These foods when eaten by the people may cause the myriad diseases such as stomach pain, cancer, etc etera, which ultimately deteriorating the communities and groups. Moreover, it is also increasing the other worse effects on the masses such as obesity, which is commonly seen in current generation. In a nutshell, societies and families give more preference to the overseas food instead of the local food. The government should make some restrictions to prevent the deterioration of the living beings and aware about the cons of the chemical coated products.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day, supermarkets
are stocked
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products around the world. Most of the nation, the overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is dominating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as the popularity among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
increasing and taking the place of it. It has untoward repercussions on the humans. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the former statement. I will elaborate my pint of view with proper arguments and examples in the successive paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, folks are forgetting their cultural meal taste with enhancing the fame of the foreign vegetables and fruits. To illustrate, Japanese folks
absolutely
forget their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
relish with the influence of the other country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
, it has detrimental effects on the group as it is prolonging the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and its native consumers.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is imported
from the far distance by the seas, roads and air. The vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for transporting exhausts the fume which pollutes the atmosphere. The health of living
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
one's
are demolishing with the polluted environment. It is
also
initiating the numerous illness in the society and families.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
, the harmful chemicals is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from decaying. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
when eaten by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may cause the myriad diseases such as stomach pain, cancer, etc
Possible spelling mistake found.
etera
, which
ultimately
deteriorating the communities and groups.
Moreover
, it is
also
increasing the other worse effects on the masses such as obesity, which is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.

In a nutshell, societies and families give more preference to the overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the deterioration of the living beings and aware about the cons of the chemical coated products.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Integrated speaking (question 3)the Darien college announces appointment of new English professor v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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