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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? v.7

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 7
Information technology is one of the topics that has affected human life in the last decades. It has changed the way we work, do shopping or the way we talk to our friends. While it has improved certain aspects of our lives, I think it has also had several negative effects. One of the biggest drawbacks of the information technology is that reduces communication and interaction between people. The human being is no longer used to having social relationship, because he can buy or do everything he wants without lifting a finger. It is true that there are some people that prefer spending a lot of time sitting at their computer instead of going out. In addition, there is a strong argumentation which says that spending more than three hours a day, especially with the children, watching a screen, can have a detrimental effect. In spite of having several drawbacks, we can’t deny that information technology is an invaluable resource. It has made many aspects of our life more enjoyable and easier. First of all, we all can use the internet to be in touch with other people. It can help us to make new friends or just to have some information from other people. Furthermore, technology can help all of us to work or study. There is a huge amount of information that can be found on the internet. For instance, a person from Spain can have knowledge of the political strategies of the U. S. In a minute. From my point of view, there are some negative aspects of IT, but it depends on how you use it. People should never overuse internet and should pay more attention of their physical activities. Having said that, the benefits outweigh overwhelmingly the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is one of the topics that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
human life in the last decades. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we work,
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
or the way we talk to our friends. While it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
certain aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has
also
had several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

One of the biggest drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
communication and interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The human being is no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to having social relationship,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or do everything he wants without lifting a finger. It is true that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that prefer spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time sitting at their computer
instead
of going out.
In addition
, there is a strong argumentation which says that spending more than three hours a day,
especially
with the children, watching a screen, can have a detrimental effect.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
having several drawbacks, we can’t deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is an invaluable resource. It has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our life more enjoyable and easier.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we all can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to be in touch with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all of us to work or study. There is a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that can
be found
on the internet.
For instance
, a person from Spain can have knowledge of the political strategies of the U. S. In a minute.

From my point of view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of IT,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depends on how you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should never overuse internet and should pay more attention of their physical activities. Having said that, the benefits outweigh
overwhelmingly
the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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