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information about students accommodation in 2013

information about students accommodation in 2013 G3LA2
The bar chart beneath presents information on student accommodations from an American college in 2013. 2 University dormitory accommodation is where most undergraduate students stay, with over 4000 students. The accommodation that has the least undergraduate students stay in is married student housing, with about 150 students. 3 There are over 1000 graduate students staying in a shared apartment, which is where most graduate students stay. The least graduate students rather stay with their parents, with about 100 students. And no graduate students are staying at the university dormitory. 4 University dormitory is where most of the undergraduates stay with over 4000 students, compared to over shared apartment, where most graduate students stay with over 1000 students. Married student housing is where the least undergraduate students stay with 150 students, compared to 100 graduate students who live with their parents.
The bar chart beneath presents information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
accommodations from an American college in 2013.

2 University dormitory accommodation is where most
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undergraduate
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students
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stay
, with
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over
4000
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students
. The accommodation that has the least
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undergraduate
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students
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stay
in
is married
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student
housing, with about 150
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students. 3
There are
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over
1000
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
staying in a shared apartment, which is where most
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
. The least
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graduate
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students
rather
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stay
with their parents, with about 100
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students
. And no
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graduate
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students
are staying at the university dormitory.

4 University
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dormitory' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dormitories".
dormitory
is where most of the
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undergraduates
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stay
with
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over
4000
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students
, compared to
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over
shared apartment, where most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
housing is where the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
with 150
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students
, compared to 100
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents.
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IELTS essay information about students accommodation in 2013

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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