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Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leaving to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leaving to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
An ecosystem is a biological community of interacting organisms and their physical habitat. The fact that today's activities are imposing a heavy burden on our ecosystem, which has led to an increasing interest in environmental issues. Despite knowing about the biodiversity's importance for a long time, human activities have been causing massive extinctions of different species. The two main causes of the disappearance of some animals are change of their habitat and overexploitation of natural resources. Firstly, when humans artificially transform the environment, they destroy vegetation and animals' natural habitat. For instance, to build new roads people cut down the trees and cement the soil, altering the environment. Consequently, a lot of species die out. Secondly, when activities connected to capture and harvesting a natural resources are too intense in a particular area, the resources become exhausted. To exemplify this, too frequent fishing does not leave enough time for them to reproduce, as a result, make some species disappear. Thus, human moves often deplete the flora and fauna and cause loss of bio-diversity. Some possible solutions to these problems are protecting natural areas and promoting awareness among the population. By protecting areas where human moves are limited and avoiding over exploitation of its natural deposits, it can save the untouched mother nature and prevent the animals from vanishing. Moreover, the next step is fighting the loss is informing the general population about the future dangers of this problem. To illustrate, the authorities ought to enforce stern laws and implement public educational schemes to raise the awareness of the community. Apart from that, everyone follows these laws and participate in saving surroundings in real life. This way people will be more conscious about the ecosystem and would not overuse and destroy its resources. To conclude, some activities which the humans are doing over the centuries are having a negative impact on the world's ecology. However, we can significantly lessen the impact by enlightening people about this issue and protecting our mother nature.
An ecosystem is a biological community of interacting organisms and their physical habitat. The fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are imposing a heavy burden on our ecosystem, which has led to an increasing interest in environmental issues. Despite knowing about the biodiversity's importance for a long time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have been causing massive extinctions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species.

The two main causes of the disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of their habitat and overexploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
artificially
transform the environment, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
vegetation and animals'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat.
For instance
, to build new roads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the trees and cement the soil, altering the environment.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out.
Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
connected to capture and harvesting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "resource"?
resources
are too intense in a particular area, the resources become exhausted. To exemplify this, too frequent fishing does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for them to reproduce,
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species disappear.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deplete the flora and fauna and cause loss of bio-diversity.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
possible solutions to these problems are protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
areas and promoting awareness among the population. By protecting areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
are limited
and avoiding over exploitation of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
deposits, it can save the untouched mother nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the animals from vanishing.
Moreover
, the
next
step is fighting the loss is informing the general population about the future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of this problem. To illustrate, the authorities ought to enforce stern laws and implement public educational schemes to raise the awareness of the community. Apart from that, everyone follows these laws and participate in saving surroundings in real life. This way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be more conscious about the ecosystem and would not overuse and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
its resources.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are doing over the centuries are having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the world's ecology.
However
, we can
significantly
lessen the impact by enlightening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about this issue and protecting our mother nature.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leaving to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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