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Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 8: Agree or disagree? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed v.1

Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 8: Agree or disagree? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed v. 1
The use of technological devices play an increasingly significant role in education. While many consider this to be an advantageous development, others believe it is more disadvantageous. I believe the use of technology in schooling is incredibly beneficial. This essay will discuss both points of view, followed by a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, there are many benefits of the widespread use of IT such as Ipad's in the classroom. Firstly, students are able to store information on their devices without the need for notebooks or stationary. This set up is cheaper for the students family as they do not need to spend a sum of money on school supplies. A good example of this is a study conducted by WHSmith, a stationary shop in the UK, revealed that 30% of students income per month goes towards stationary. Another reason why it is a positive trend is with the advent of the internet, information is made accessible and readily available with a click of a button. For example, websites like www. Google. com greatly assist in the accessibility of knowledge. On the other hand, the positives of computer usage in schools do not come without drawbacks. Although laptops provide a means of indulgence in knowledge, they also provide a means of over-indulgence in useless applications like Facebook and video games. This can lead to these devices being a distraction in auditoriums. For instance, in 2019, The Internet Society, found that for every 30 minutes spent being productive on the internet, 20 minutes were wasted on social media. Moreover, unfortunately, computers can either be stolen or damaged. Instantly losing important information, a high risk to take for students in master program’s or finalists. This was examplified earlier this month when my 250 word essay for my IELTS April practice exam was deleted off of my phone. In conclusion technology has taken the educational sector by storm, curbing the way for free accessible information and making studies easier for students. Despite this, they can be a source of distractions and can be delted. However, as long as students responsibly use technology for the right reasons and ensure they take care of them, the positives effects outweigh the negatives.
The
use
of technological devices
play
an
increasingly
significant role in education. While
many
consider this to be an advantageous development, others believe it is more disadvantageous. I believe the
use
of technology in schooling is
incredibly
beneficial. This essay will discuss both points of view, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, there are
many
benefits of the widespread
use
of IT such as
Ipad
's in the classroom.
Firstly
,
students
are able to store
information
on their devices without the need for notebooks or stationary. This set up is cheaper for the
students
family as they do not need to spend a sum of money on school supplies. A
good
example of this is a study conducted by
WHSmith
, a
stationary
shop in the UK, revealed that 30% of
students
income per month goes towards stationary. Another reason why it is a
positive
trend is with the advent of the internet,
information
is made
accessible and
readily
available with a click of a button.
For example
, websites like
www
. Google.
com
greatly
assist in the accessibility of knowledge.

On the other hand
, the positives of computer usage in schools do not
come
without drawbacks. Although laptops provide a means of indulgence in knowledge, they
also
provide a means of over-indulgence in useless applications like Facebook and video games. This can lead to these devices being a distraction in auditoriums.
For instance
, in 2019, The Internet Society, found that for every 30 minutes spent being productive on the internet, 20 minutes
were wasted
on social media.
Moreover
, unfortunately, computers can either
be stolen
or damaged.
Instantly
losing
important
information
, a high
risk
to take for
students
in master program’s or finalists. This was
examplified
earlier this month when my
250 word
essay for my IELTS April practice exam
was deleted
off of my phone.

In conclusion
technology has taken the educational sector by storm, curbing the way for free accessible
information
and making studies easier for
students
. Despite this, they can be a source of distractions and can be
delted
.
However
, as long as
students
responsibly
use
technology for the right reasons and ensure they take care of them, the positives effects outweigh the negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 8: Agree or disagree? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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