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Incresing the price of petrol directly way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Incresing the price of petrol directly way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. v. 1
It is argued by some that all people should adopt vegetarian diets as meat is virtually not important in our meals. I completely disagree with this point of view because it is neither justifiable nor scientific. In my view, it is absurd to ask everyone to become vegetarians. In fact, such a proposal is strongly against the core value of a free and fair society where each individual is entitled to choose the way they eat and live. In this modern world, people should not be forced to adopt any particular lifestyle, no matter how healthy that might be, unless they make the decision by themselves. This freedom to decide on what food they should have is actually one of the important factors influencing the level of happiness for many people. Apart from the human rights concern expressed above, the argument that people can live healthy without meat also does not hold water. It is scientifically proven that seafood, chicken and beef play a large part in ensuring people’s health. Different types of meat are rich in different nutrition, such as protein, chemicals, and calcium, and they provide what the human body needs and help it function well. Without the nutritional elements that we take from meat, we would be more prone to many health problems, from malnutrition to anemia. That is why WHO suggests that an average adult eat / should eat 50 grams of meat every day. In conclusion, I believe that it is unreasonable and unhealthy to ask everyone not to consume meat since people should be free to choose their food and enjoy a balanced diet.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adopt vegetarian diets as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is
virtually
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our meals. I completely disagree with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is neither justifiable nor scientific.

In my view, it is absurd to ask everyone to become vegetarians. In fact, such a proposal is
strongly
against the core value of a free and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
society where each individual
is entitled
to choose the way they eat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
be forced
to adopt any particular lifestyle, no matter how healthy that might be, unless they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the decision by themselves. This freedom to decide on what food they should have is actually one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors influencing the level of happiness for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Apart from the human rights concern expressed above, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
also
does not hold water. It is
scientifically
proven that seafood, chicken and beef play a large part in ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
are rich in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nutrition, such as protein, chemicals, and calcium, and they provide what the human body needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
it function well. Without the nutritional elements that we take from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
, we would be more prone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems, from malnutrition to anemia.
That is
why WHO suggests that an average adult eat / should eat 50 grams of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
every day.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is unreasonable and unhealthy to ask everyone not to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to choose their food and enjoy a balanced diet.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Incresing the price of petrol directly way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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