Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010 v.1

The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010 v. 1
It is true that the behaviour of school pupils in some parts of the world has been getting worse in recent years. There are a variety of possible reasons for this, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. In my opinion, three main factors are to blame for the way young people behave at school nowadays. Firstly, modern parents tend to be too lenient or permissive. Many children become accustomed to getting whatever they want, and they find it difficult to accept the demands of teachers or the limits imposed on them by school rules. Secondly, if teachers cannot control their students, there must be an issue with the quality of classroom management training or support within schools. Finally, children are influenced by the behaviour of celebrities, many of whom set the example that success can be achieved without finishing school. Student behaviour can certainly be improved. I believe that the change must start with parents, who need to be persuaded that it is important to set firm rules for their children. When children misbehave or break the rules, parents should use reasonable punishments to demonstrate that actions have consequences. Also, schools could play an important role in training both teachers and parents to use effective disciplinary techniques, and in improving the communication between both groups. At the same time, famous people, such as musicians and football players, need to understand the responsibility that they have to act as role models to children. In conclusion, schools will continue to face discipline problems unless parents, teachers and public figures set clear rules and demonstrate the right behaviour themselves. !
It is true that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pupils in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world has been getting worse in recent years. There are a variety of possible reasons for this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
steps can defi
nitely
be taken
to tackle the problem.

In my opinion, three main factors are to blame for the way young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
behave at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
nowadays.
Firstly
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to be too lenient or permissive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become accustomed to getting whatever they want, and they
The word 'find' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
find
it
The word 'difficult' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
difficult
to accept the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or the limits imposed on them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
cannot control their students, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be an issue with the quality of classroom management training or support within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
The word 'influenced' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
influenced
by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of celebrities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of whom set the example that success can
be achieved
without
The word 'finishing' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
finishing
school.

Student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
certainly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, who need to
be persuaded
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to set
The word 'firm' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
misbehave or break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
reasonable punishments to demonstrate that actions have consequences.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
could play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in training both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
effective disciplinary techniques, and in improving the communication between both groups. At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, such as musicians and football players, need to understand the responsibility that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
act as role models to children.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will continue to face discipline problems unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and public
The word 'figures' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
figures
set
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and demonstrate the right
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
themselves. !
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts