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Increasing the age limit for new drivers will help in achieving better road safety. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Increasing the age limit for new drivers will help in achieving better road safety. v. 2
In recent times we have been giving more importance to safe commute to prevent accidents. The argument goes that in order to accomplish it the qualifying age for new drivers should be increased. This essay will highlight highlight that increased age limit will reduce mis-happenings. To commence with, majority accidents are caused by reckless driving of young novice drivers, who drive vehicles in overspeed or do not wear seatbelts. This is because they are not mature enough to drive cautiously or do not understand that their actions can result into serious problems consequently. If people are allowed to drive at an increased age then they will become grown-ups and drive responsibly thus leading to less tragic accidents. For instance, a 22 years old working professional in comparison to a young college student, who is 18 years old, is less likely to get into road accident while driving and follow traffic rules. Furthermore, parents, business people and working professionals check cars for any faults before they start driving and install air-bags for emergency situations. In contrast, new teenage drivers do not want to spend their time in performing these checks, resulting in break-down or terrible accidents due to missing air-bags. Also, when people grow-up and start earning money they can spend more on getting safety measures installed in their vehicles. In conclusion, increasing age limit for driving will certainly help in increasing road safety and make road transport to be much more safer option as new drivers will drive safely and take necessary actions to cut impact of adverse situations.
In recent times we have been giving more importance to safe commute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. The argument goes that in order to accomplish it the qualifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should
be increased
. This essay will
Possible typo: you repeated a word
highlight highlight
that increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-happenings
.

To commence with, majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are caused
by reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
of young novice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
vehicles in
Possible spelling mistake found.
overspeed
or do not wear seatbelts. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
cautiously
or do not understand that their actions can result into serious problems
consequently
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
at an increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
then they will become grown-ups and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
responsibly
thus
leading to less tragic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
For instance
, a 22 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
working professional
in comparison
to a young college student, who is 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, is less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and follow traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

Furthermore
, parents, business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and working professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
cars for any faults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and install air-bags for emergency situations.
In contrast
, new teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
do not want to spend their time in performing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
, resulting in break-down or terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
due to missing air-bags.
Also
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grow-up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning money they can spend more on getting safety measures installed in their vehicles.

In conclusion
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in increasing road safety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
road transport to be much
Use only "safer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more safer
option as new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
safely
and take necessary actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
impact of adverse situations.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing the age limit for new drivers will help in achieving better road safety. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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