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Essay topics: Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by a family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Essay topics: Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by a family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
With the advent of advanced technologies, social liberation and fast paced lifestyles, family structures have changed considerably in order to adapt to environments they live in. One of the common patterns which have emerged lately is that of fewer children, working parents and elder members of the family living in retirement homes. Despite intuitive beliefs of this being inappropriate as families should always care for ageing members, there are practical reasons for such an arrangement being good for everyone. This essay outlines two such aspects to show why retirement homes are good for the elderly. Firstly, the loneliness which is one of the biggest difficulties of old age is automatically solved by retirement homes as people get to live with others of their own generation. For example, my grandparents could never relate to the 21st-century topics discussed at our family gatherings. They were more comfortable in bygone nostalgia and could very well mingle among people of their own generation. Such a company of people being easily available in retirement homes helps their mental health to be in a very good shape. Secondly, elderly people almost always need specialised care which they can feel confident about. Retirement homes are equipped with professionals to provide for the needs of their clientage. This is not always possible in a family of all working adults. Hence, retirement homes become a better case for the wellbeing of the elderly. So, as seen from above two aspects of companionship and care, retirement homes are rather a better option for the elderly. Thus the taboo of retirement homes should be erased and they should be recognised as important institutions of our society.
With the advent of advanced technologies, social liberation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced lifestyles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
considerably
in order to adapt to environments they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. One of the common patterns which have emerged lately is that of fewer children, working parents and elder members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Despite intuitive beliefs of this being inappropriate as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should always care for
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
members, there are practical reasons for such an arrangement being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for everyone. This essay outlines two such aspects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the elderly.

Firstly
, the loneliness which is one of the biggest difficulties of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age is
automatically
solved by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with others of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
generation.
For example
, my grandparents could never relate to the 21st-century topics discussed at our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings. They were more comfortable in bygone nostalgia and could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well mingle among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
generation. Such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being
easily
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
their mental health to be in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.

Secondly
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
almost always need
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
care which they can feel confident about.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are equipped
with professionals to provide for the needs of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
clientage
. This is not always possible in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of all working adults.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
become a better case for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of the elderly.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from above two aspects of companionship and care,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
rather
a better option for the elderly.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the taboo of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
should be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
erased and
they should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
institutions of our society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by a family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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