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Increasing supermarket and mall

Increasing supermarket and mall Ap0gw
Nowdays, we know that proliferation of supermarket in all around the world. Such as Big Bazaar or D- Mart. people are going to buy products of in it. but also we forget the value of local markets and local business. some individuals claim that increasing development in supermarket we lost some local business. from my point of view I feel that it is true To begin with, due to advance technology the value of supermarket Very incredibly. Nowadays many people buy products From supermarket and mall which is very convenient or expensive. If I talk about local markets in local markets you can get good qualities of products and cheaper rather than supermarket. like in vegetables in local markets in every morning you can get fresh vegetables, fruits and many other products. Or in supermarket you can get frozon things which is bad for our health although many supermarket at the urban area so local people don't get esally products. moreover nowdays many malls provide discount on particular products specially on weekends so people attractive for it. On the other hand, due to increasing of supermarket we lost couple of local business such as glossary shops and local food shop even though it's effect on local farmers like local farmers might not be able to sell their fresh produce to supermarkets unless they adjust their prices to the lowest offer possible. In this case, they might not be able to survive due to not being able to sell their fresh produce cheap. As a result, the whole economy including the local producers might lose their jobs. In conclusion I believe that the closure of small businesses will signal the end of local communities because of the high cost of goods from such supermarkets and the far distances created by the building of such large shops. Despite If local businesses are given the right resources to thrive, there will be no need to close their businesses.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
, we know that proliferation of supermarket in all around the world. Such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Bazaar or D- Mart.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of in it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we forget the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
individuals claim that increasing development in supermarket we lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
my point of view I feel that it is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
true


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to advance technology the value of supermarket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
incredibly
.

Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
From supermarket and mall which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient or expensive. If I talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and cheaper
rather
than supermarket.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
like
in vegetables in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets in every morning you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fresh vegetables, fruits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other products.

Or in supermarket you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
frozon
things which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for our health although
Possible agreement error. The noun supermarket seems to be countable; consider using: "many supermarkets".
many supermarket
at the urban area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
esally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
malls provide discount on particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
specially
on weekends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attractive for it.

On the other hand
, due to increasing of supermarket we lost couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
such as glossary shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food shop
even though
it's effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers might not be able to sell their fresh produce to supermarkets unless they adjust their prices to the lowest offer possible.
In this case
, they might not be able to survive due to not being able to sell their fresh produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
As a result
, the whole economy including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers might lose their jobs.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
believe that the closure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will signal the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high cost of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from such supermarkets and the far distances created by the building of such large shops. Despite If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the right resources to thrive, there will be no need to close their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
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IELTS essay Increasing supermarket and mall

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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