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Increase of obesity during coronavirus lockdown

Increase of obesity during coronavirus lockdown QK5Ly
Nowadays, people are reluctant to do exercise and sports, which is essential for maintaining their health, then gaining more and more weight. Those who live in developed countries tend to have this unpreferable custom. This had been originally a matter for a while. What is worse, the recent new normal standard by COVID-19 promoted it rapidly and constantly. You have been influenced a lot of factors. To single out the reason, that is a pandemic of COVID-19 as I wrote above. Our daily lives totally changed. A considerable number of people could work from home, so that they did not have to commute. This maybe a happy news rather than hazardous at first. However, workers found that their walking, transferring trains, traveling to work were sports after they could no longer do it. A number of my friends put on weight while they refrained from going outside. Under such a desperate circumstance, we could continue to work and study thanks to well-developed digital techniques. But this is exactly a radical reason for a lack of people’s health. Those who enjoyed bygone holidays actively, now stay at home and watch cinemas or play video games with their family and friends. In short, as techniques progress, you can be satisfied with insider contents.
Nowadays,
people
are reluctant to do exercise and sports, which is essential for maintaining their health, then gaining more and more weight.

Those who
live
in
developed countries
tend to have this
unpreferable
custom. This had been
originally
a matter for a while. What is worse, the recent new normal standard by COVID-19 promoted it
rapidly
and
constantly
.

You have
been influenced
a lot of
factors. To single out the reason,
that is
a pandemic of COVID-19 as I wrote above. Our daily
lives
totally
changed
.

A considerable number of
people
could work from home,
so
that they did not
have to
commute. This maybe a happy news
rather
than hazardous at
first
.

However
, workers found that their walking, transferring trains, traveling to work were sports after they could no longer do it. A number of my friends put on weight while they refrained from going outside.

Under such a desperate circumstance, we could continue to work and study thanks to well-developed digital techniques.

But
this is exactly a radical reason for a lack of
people
’s health. Those who enjoyed bygone holidays
actively
,
now
stay at home and
watch
cinemas
or


play
video games with their family and friends. In short, as techniques progress, you can
be satisfied
with insider contents.
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IELTS essay Increase of obesity during coronavirus lockdown

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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