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increase in consumption of fast food is positive or negative development?

increase in consumption of fast food is positive or negative development? kbNNn
In today's modern epoch, it can be seen that masses prefer to eat fast food instead of cooking food at home. Individuals prefer to eat junk food nowadays. So, i opine that it is a negative development. Factors affecting my viewpoint would be critiqued in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, it can be seen that people give most preference to fast food. It has negative impact on human health. First and foremost one is that consumption of street food lead to many health issues. To elaborate, junk food is not hygienic and lead to health issueslike heart ailments, obesity and many more. For instance, a survey was conducted by united state census bureau and it was revealed that 80 percent of people suffer from heart ailments are those one who eat fast food. Consequently, they become weaker and even feel weakness in their body. Apart from it, children adoreto taste difference kind of cuisines which are not healthier for them by which their health get affected and they are not able continue their school for a while die to which there is loss in their academics. Furthermore, people have hectic schedule. They do not have enough time to prepare food at home. Moving further, fast food is cheaper as well as spicy. People try to eat various eatables as they ate able to afford them. Fast food should be completely banned otherwise people have to avoid to eat it. In a gist, it is good to eat fast food in order to break mundane life but it should be consumed in a specific limit.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern epoch, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that masses prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home. Individuals prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
opine that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. Factors affecting my viewpoint would
be critiqued
in the subsequent paragraphs.

To embark with, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give most preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
First
and foremost one is that consumption of street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. To elaborate, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not hygienic and lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake found.
issueslike
heart ailments, obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by united state census bureau and it
was revealed
that 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from heart ailments are those one who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Consequently
, they become weaker and even feel weakness in their body. Apart from it, children
Possible spelling mistake found.
adoreto
taste difference kind of cuisines which are not healthier for them by which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affected and
they are not
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'continue'.
able continue
their school for a while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
to which there is loss in their academics.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic schedule. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home. Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is cheaper
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as spicy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
various eatables as they ate able to afford them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should be completely banned
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
avoid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
it.

In a gist, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to break mundane life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be consumed
in a specific limit.
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IELTS essay increase in consumption of fast food is positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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