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Is spending leisure time with Work Colleagues good or bad?

Is spending leisure time with Work Colleagues good or bad? ELO1B
In an ideal world, work colleagues should get along. Some companies often organize events on holidays and other occasions. Purpose of this exercise is to create harmony between staff members and boost their work productivity. This might work but often times it does not. It is perceived as company time rather than leisure time. Different people spend their leisure time with family or work colleagues depending on their circumstances. A single individual, living alone, might find it convenient to mingle with work colleagues and go out to a bar or on a picnic on a day off. This might help boost the work environment and help understand eachother. On the other hand, some people might want to spend their leisure time with family. There is no better opportunity for bonding with family than spending time together. Spending time with work colleagues can sometimes affect family life. In conclusion, striking the perfect balance would be the key. In my personal experience, introducing work colleagues to family members has worked like a charm. Throwing parties, planning day outs, and excursions have let our spouses and children come close. Now we can go out and spend time with both my family and work colleagues.
In an ideal world,
work
colleagues
should
get
along.
Some
companies
often
organize
events
on holidays and other occasions. Purpose of this exercise is to create harmony between staff members and boost their
work
productivity. This
might
work
but
often
times
it does not. It
is perceived
as
company
time
rather
than leisure
time
.
Different
people
spend their leisure
time
with
family
or
work
colleagues
depending on their circumstances. A single individual, living alone,
might
find it convenient to mingle with
work
colleagues
and go out to a bar or on a picnic on a day off. This
might
help
boost the
work
environment and
help
understand
eachother
.
On the other hand
,
some
people
might
want to spend their leisure
time
with
family
. There is no better opportunity for bonding with
family
than spending
time
together. Spending
time
with
work
colleagues
can
sometimes
affect
family
life.
In conclusion
, striking the perfect balance would be the key. In my personal experience, introducing
work
colleagues
to
family
members has worked like a charm. Throwing parties, planning day outs, and excursions have
let
our spouses and children
come
close.
Now
we can go out and spend
time
with both my
family
and
work
colleagues
.
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IELTS essay Is spending leisure time with Work Colleagues good or bad?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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