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In various countries, it is a common opinion among parents that their children should not only learn during class time but also reinforce knowledge after school despite the lack of leisure time. While some people consider this statement as a positive idea, others are completely against it. This essay will discuss both sides of this phenomenon and point out my view. On the one hand, some people encourage this trend due to its impact on the performance of children at school. Students who attend extra classes to acquire more knowledge tend to be more active in the lecture so that they can gain the attention of coaches and impress others peers. Furthermore, Parents worry that youngsters may be attached to violent programmes or bad behaviours on mass social media when they spend too much time for entertaining instead of widening their understanding.

In various countries, it is a common opinion among parents that their children should not only learn during class time but also reinforce knowledge after school despite the lack of leisure time. While some people consider this statement as a positive idea, others are completely against it. This essay will On the one hand, some people encourage this trend due to its impact on the performance of children at school. Students who attend extra classes to acquire more knowledge tend to be more active in the lecture so that they can gain the attention of coaches and impress others peers. Furthermore, Parents worry that youngsters may be attached to violent programmes or bad behaviours on mass social media when they spend too much time for entertaining instead of widening their understanding. 6aVRK
In various countries, it is a common opinion among parents that their children should not only learn during class time but also reinforce knowledge after school despite the lack of leisure time. While some people consider this statement as a positive idea, others are completely against it. This essay will discuss both sides of this phenomenon and point out my view. On the one hand, some people encourage this trend due to its impact on the performance of children at school. Students who attend extra classes to acquire more knowledge tend to be more active in the lecture so that they can gain the attention of coaches and impress others peers. Furthermore, Parents worry that youngsters may be attached to violent programmes or bad behaviours on mass social media when they spend too much time for entertaining instead of widening their understanding. On the other hand, juveniles would probably suffer from psychological problems, if they are forced to study without a rest. The overloading is responsible for the phenomenon of depression and stress in young people especially teenagers who lack the ability to overcome the pressure. In addition, students who too concentrate on study and ignore other social activities are usually less creative as they don’t have a chance to explore the surrounded world. In conclusion, despite the productive impact of constant learning on the performance of young people, the adverse effects of this phenomenon on the mental health of children are more considerable. Hence, I hold my view that children should have a sensible schedule that is equal between study and entertainment.
In various countries, it is a common opinion among parents that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
reinforce knowledge after school despite the lack of leisure time. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider this statement as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, others are completely against it. This essay will discuss both sides of this phenomenon and point out my view.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encourage this trend due to its impact on the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at school. Students who attend extra classes to acquire more knowledge tend to be more active in the lecture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can gain the attention of coaches and impress others peers.
Furthermore
, Parents worry that youngsters may
be attached
to violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
on mass social media when they spend too much time for entertaining
instead
of widening their understanding.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, juveniles would
probably
suffer from psychological problems, if they
are forced
to study without a rest. The overloading is responsible for the phenomenon of depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who lack the ability to overcome the pressure.
In addition
, students who
Did you mean "to concentrate"?
too concentrate
on study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social activities are
usually
less creative as they don’t have a chance to explore the surrounded world.

In conclusion
, despite the productive impact of constant learning on the performance of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the adverse effects of this phenomenon on the mental health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more considerable.
Hence
, I hold my view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have a sensible schedule
that is
equal between study and entertainment.
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IELTS essay In various countries, it is a common opinion among parents that their children should not only learn during class time but also reinforce knowledge after school despite the lack of leisure time. While some people consider this statement as a positive idea, others are completely against it. This essay will On the one hand, some people encourage this trend due to its impact on the performance of children at school. Students who attend extra classes to acquire more knowledge tend to be more active in the lecture so that they can gain the attention of coaches and impress others peers. Furthermore, Parents worry that youngsters may be attached to violent programmes or bad behaviours on mass social media when they spend too much time for entertaining instead of widening their understanding.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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