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Describe some of the problems of lack of outdoor leisure time of children can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Describe some of the problems of lack of outdoor leisure time of children can cause and suggest at least one possible solution. m3O11
Nowadays, children are spending more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV. For sure, children are safer and constantly under the surveillance of adults, but this can cause many problems in the future. In this short essay, some problems caused by this lack of outdoor activities and a solution for it will be discussed. Firstly, the disadvantage of having less outdoor activities is the lack of socialization. Children constantly need to be in company of others in today's world, because this will allow them to become socialized human beings. This will aid them to get along with people in their future education institutions, at their workplace and even in the society. Despite being at school, children need to socialize with people of other cultural and age groups, helping them to adapt with other social groups, and thus preparing them for their future endeavors. Having more of their leisure time outdoor, can promote their interpersonal and communication skills as well. Also, outdoor leisure time allows a child to be physically fit. Instead of only watching TV programs or playing games, having outdoor leisure time makes a child less prone to illnesses such as cardiovascular ones or obesity. Moreover, they develop more skills such as running, playing football or swimming, which can help them become famous or successful in the future, for example, a child can be so engaged in swimming, he or she can start participating in many swimming competitions and end up being a contestant in the Olympic Games. One solution for promoting outdoor leisure time, is to sensitize both parents and children about the benefits of outdoor leisure time and the disadvantages of having only indoor activities.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are spending more of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
indoors with computers and TV. For sure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are safer and
constantly
under the surveillance of adults,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In this short essay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems caused by this lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities and a solution for it will
be discussed
.

Firstly
, the disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities is the lack of socialization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
constantly
need to be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of others in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to become socialized human beings. This will aid them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
education institutions, at their workplace and even in the society. Despite being at school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to socialize with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of other cultural and age groups, helping them to adapt with other social groups, and
thus
preparing them for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
endeavors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
more of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
, can promote their interpersonal and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a child to be
physically
fit.
Instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
watching TV programs or playing games,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a child less prone to illnesses such as cardiovascular ones or obesity.

Moreover
, they develop more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as running, playing football or swimming, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
or successful in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
for example
, a child can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engaged in swimming, he or she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
swimming competitions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being a contestant in the Olympic Games.

One solution for promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, is to sensitize both parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
indoor activities.
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IELTS essay Describe some of the problems of lack of outdoor leisure time of children can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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