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In today's world people judge someone by their social status and wealth

In today's world people judge someone by their social status and wealth 5bmOn
According to the given situation, the following discussion is going to be made on that how nowadays people are being judged more on the social life in front of the world and on their wealth rather than to observe either they are trust worthy and loyal. Various people nowadays think that being socially active and indulged between people is good and makes them comfortable and more trustable. For e. g. - a cricketer who earns a lot of money and has various luxury bungalows, even has various social relations and tries to engage with the audience is a very nice person in the eyes of people because they feel like it is good to be actively participating and even they also get a push for their like owing a good amount of property in somewhat future, which is a really beneficial thing and is acceptable. On the other hand, some people humans that an ideal person is who has a lot of fame, recognization and bank balance as it is their priority but in the process of it they forget that a human being should have moral values and pride. A small vendor went to a big businessmen to make a deal but later on got to know that person was a fraud and was using him for illegal purposes, that's why it's important to determine the basic things about someone for believing on them. To conclude, i would like to say that the old ways to judge someone were more useful because it helped in understanding a citizen more precisely as in today's era it has become impossible because of their wrong perception.
According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
situation, the following discussion is going to
be made
on that how nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being judged
more on the social life in front of the world and on their wealth
rather
than to observe either they are trust worthy and loyal.

Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that being
socially
active and indulged between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them comfortable and more trustable. For
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
a cricketer who earns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and has various luxury bungalows, even has various social relations and tries to engage with the audience is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice person in the eyes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel like it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be
actively
participating and even they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a push for their like owing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of property in somewhat future, which is a
really
beneficial thing and is acceptable.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
humans that an ideal person is who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fame,
Possible spelling mistake found.
recognization
and bank balance as it is their priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the process of it they forget that a human being should have moral values and pride. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
vendor went to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "businessman"?
businessmen
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a deal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know that person was a fraud and was using him for illegal purposes, that's why it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to determine the basic things about someone for believing on them.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to say that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ways to judge someone were more useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in understanding a citizen more
precisely
as in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era it has become impossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
perception.
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IELTS essay In today's world people judge someone by their social status and wealth

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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