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In today's world, people are purchasing more than what they need. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your opinion with reasons and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

In today's world, people are purchasing more than what they need. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your opinion with reasons and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1
Due to drastic change in the economy the purchasing power of people has increased, leading to over purchase and buying of unnecessary items. I suggest that we should spend the cash as per our income and save funds if any adversity arises. To begin with, we will consider the positive effects. As per the census-2018, the per capita income of urban areas is increased by 25%, which means people are earning enough for a living. The positive effect is that, it gives them access to luxury and higher standard of living. For instance, they can purchase luxury items, invest in real estate and buy expensive automobiles which was an urban dream earlier. However, tendency to purchase more comes with a great deal of negative effects. People spend more than their earning that leaves them with enormous debts and no savings. Another noteworthy reason to be mentioned is that, children are becoming spoiled brats with the luxury been provided to them. Parents provide provide their children with all the unnecessary items which ever they ask for. For example, they spend money on all the latest gadgets and gaming equipments which are not a necessity. Parents may take credit card debts to provide these equipments to their children for their happiness. This may lead to no savings for their future. In conclusion, Increase in purchasing power is a negative development. But, we can overcome the negative aspect of buying unnecessary item if people spend money wisely by planning their expenses and income. Also, saving money for a rainy day will reduce their spending pattern.
Due to drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the economy the purchasing power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has increased, leading to over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and buying of unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. I suggest that we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the cash as per our income and save funds if any adversity arises.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we will consider the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. As per the census-2018, the per capita income of urban areas
is increased
by 25%, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for a living. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect is that, it gives them access to luxury and higher standard of living.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, invest in real estate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive automobiles which was an urban dream earlier.
However
, tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a great deal of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than their earning that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them with enormous debts and no savings.

Another noteworthy reason to
be mentioned
is that, children are becoming spoiled brats with the luxury
been provided
to them. Parents
Possible typo: you repeated a word
provide provide
their children with all the unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which ever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
.
For example
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money on all the latest gadgets and gaming equipments which are not a necessity. Parents may take credit card debts to provide these equipments to their children for their happiness. This may lead to no savings for their future.

In conclusion
, Increase in purchasing power is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, we can overcome the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of buying unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money
wisely
by planning their expenses and income.
Also
, saving money for a rainy day will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their spending pattern.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In today's world, people are purchasing more than what they need. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your opinion with reasons and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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