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In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? n6dRP
In the world where scientific and technological advances dominate, people working in the field of arts such as musicians, painters and writers still gain a great deal of attention. This is because arts can teach us certain things about life that we cannot learn from science and technology. Firstly, arts give us the opportunity to see things from a different perspective. In the world of science and technology, we see things as the way they are; yet, in the world of arts, we are allowed to use our imagination and creativity to see things in the way we want. In a researcher’s eyes, for example, a cat is just an animal with soft fur and four legs; however, a cat, to a writer, could be a friend, a hero or a traditional symbol of a culture. This way of seeing things helps us to gain deeper insights into the world we live in and teaches us to think from different perspectives when encountering problems. Another point about the benefits of arts is that while scientific and technological developments bring benefits to our physical lives, arts instill religious and spiritual values into each individual, which helps us to become a more well-rounded person. For instance, whenever I felt down and depressed, I often listen to the song called You raise me up which always gives me the feeling that I can do anything that I have a passion for as long as I put my heart into it. I think we hardly ever have this feeling when we carry out a scientific research or a technological project. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that in the world of arts we can learn various things that are absent from the world of science and technology.
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
where scientific and technological advances dominate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as musicians, painters and writers
still
gain a great deal of attention. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can teach us certain things about life that we cannot learn from science and technology.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
give us the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of science and technology, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things as the way they are;
yet
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our imagination and creativity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things in the way we want. In a researcher’s eyes,
for example
, a cat is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an animal with soft fur and four legs;
however
, a cat, to a writer, could be a friend, a hero or a traditional symbol of a culture. This way of seeing things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to gain deeper insights into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and teaches us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives when encountering problems.

Another point about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is that while scientific and technological developments bring benefits to our physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
instill religious and spiritual values into each individual, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to become a more well-rounded person.
For instance
, whenever I felt down and depressed, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
listen to the song called You raise me up which always gives me the feeling that I can do anything that I have a passion for as long as I put my heart into it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we hardly ever have this feeling when we carry out a scientific research or a technological project.

In conclusion
, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
we can learn various things that are absent from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of science and technology.
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IELTS essay In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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