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Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s o v.2

Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s o v. 2
There has been an increasing debate as to whether youngsters should follow the instructions from senior people or should challenge them with up-to-date thoughts or ideas. In my opinion, one should take advice with a view of making better indepent decisions. One reason people suggest taking advice from older people is that the lessons they have learned from past failures could prevent young people from making the same mistakes again. This is especially true in workplaces such as in the retail industry where employees may need to deal with demanding customers, following senior employees’ practical customer service skills could help junior staff maintain a higher customer’s satisfaction rate and boost the sales. Another area that young people should follow senior people’s examples is when one needs to pass a special technique to the next generation. It would have a negative impact on preserving a dying culture if young people decide not to follow the pre-existing rules established by older generations. On the other hand, young people should follow their own ideas when it comes to choosing career paths and life goals. If Bill Gates decided to follow his parents' wishes to become a scholar, he would not be able to form Intel, a great company which makes the internet the most significant advancement in modern society, which helps millions of people communicate without boundaries. Daring to challenge old theories and rules could lead to a more dynamic and thriving society. In conclusion, whether to follow the opinion from senior people varies from different circumstances. It is better to take suggestions from senior colleagues in workplaces for the purpose of, but one should follow its own heart when making important life choices.
There has been an increasing debate
as to whether
youngsters should
follow
the instructions from
senior
people
or should challenge them with up-to-date thoughts or
ideas
. In my opinion, one should take advice with a view of making better
indepent
decisions.

One reason
people
suggest taking advice from older
people
is
that the lessons they have learned from past failures could
prevent
young
people
from making the same mistakes again. This is
especially
true in workplaces such as in the retail industry where employees may need to deal with demanding customers, following
senior
employees’ practical customer service
skills
could
help
junior staff maintain a higher customer’s satisfaction rate and boost the sales. Another area that
young
people
should
follow
senior
people’s
examples is when one needs to pass a special technique to the
next
generation. It would have a
negative
impact on preserving a dying culture if
young
people
decide not to
follow
the pre-existing
rules
established by older generations.

On the other hand
,
young
people
should
follow
their
own
ideas
when it
comes
to choosing career paths and life goals. If Bill Gates decided to
follow
his parents' wishes to become a scholar, he would not be able to form Intel, a great
company
which
makes
the internet the most significant advancement in modern society, which
helps
millions of
people
communicate without boundaries. Daring to challenge
old
theories and
rules
could lead to a more dynamic and thriving society.

In conclusion
, whether to
follow
the opinion from
senior
people
varies
from
different
circumstances. It is better to take suggestions from
senior
colleagues in workplaces for the purpose of,
but
one should
follow
its
own
heart when making
important
life choices.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s o v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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