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In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work.

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. AjwML
Needs and demands for many families are growing and thus in many families both the parents go out for work. With growing competition in the world, parent's goal is to give best to thier children and to do this both parents work hard to earn enough money. However, children sometimes feel alone because there is no one in the house to talk to them but on the other hand many children think that it is a benefit for the family as there is an additional income. If we look at the brighter side of the topic, as mentioned above there is addition of extra income in the family. As the world is growing, cost of living is becoming more expensive as people are trying to get more luxurious life for themselves. Thus, if both the parents work, they can not only invest more on children's education but also help them to go to extra-curricular activities. Although there are lots of benefits, there are some disadvantages too. As we all know when both the parents are working, the child has to stay alone as nowadays most of the families are nuclear and there is no one to help them out with their homework or help them to tackle with their problems. The main concern that parents should take into consideration is that, since no is there to guide them there is a possibility wherein their children may choose wrong path. For example, many children bunk their schools or colleges as there is no one to look after them. From this above discussion it be concluded that, in order to fulfill child's necessary requirements both the parents have to work. In my opinion, both child and parents should come together and try to spend maximum time with each other during holidays or during weekends. The main responsibility is of the parents, that they should not get too much involved in their work and give enough of their time to children.
Needs and demands for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are growing and
thus
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
go out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. With growing competition in the world, parent's goal is to give best to
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to do this both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money.
However
,
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
feel alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no one in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to talk to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as there is an additional income.

If we look at the brighter side of the topic, as mentioned above there is addition of extra income in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. As the world is growing, cost of living is becoming more expensive as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more luxurious life for themselves.
Thus
, if both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
invest more on children's education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to go to extra-curricular activities.

Although there are lots of benefits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too. As we all know when both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working, the child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
stay alone as nowadays most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are nuclear and there is no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them out with their homework or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to tackle with their problems. The main concern that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take into consideration is that, since
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
is there to guide them there is a possibility wherein their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bunk their schools or colleges as there is no one to look after them.

From this above discussion it
Did you mean "is"?
be
concluded that, in order to fulfill child's necessary requirements both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In my opinion, both child and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and try to spend maximum time with each other during holidays or during weekends. The main responsibility is of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, that they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too much involved in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of their time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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