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In this question learners were asked to discuss why people travel more these days and to think about the benefits of travel. v.1

In this question learners were asked to discuss why people travel more these days and to think about the benefits of travel. v. 1
Nowadays, Travelling has become the important part in our life. Most of people these days would like to travel in different places. A few decades ago, only the rich can afford to travel since they can spend more. This essay will discuss the reason for increase in travelling and the benefits of it. To commence with, the first and foremost reason is the competition in transport industry. Long ago, there were few airlines companies so they control the prices of the tickets which used to be very high. But, this has been changed as there is a drop in the prices due to development of the new airlines which makes it affordable for a medium class family. Moreover, trips can be planned using internet these days. They can select the best route for them to decrease the cost and increase the stay time. There are lot of benefits that a traveller can get through travelling. Initially, person can explore the new places all over the world. Secondly, they get to know about the various religions, customs and the culture followed at different places. Moreover, they get to eat the exotic foods. This new experience can give the new insight on traveller life and the environment. For instance, 3 months ago, I visited Jaisalmer, Ajmer and Jaipur with my friends on a one week trip. The travelling fares were quite affordable and after book the tickets, I then searched the accommodation for all places on internet. We really enjoyed the cultural program and sight seeing by guided tour over their. To recapitulate the given points, that more people would like to travel because of the advantages and the life time experience they get. Furthermore, this trend will increase in the future.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
has become the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in our life. Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days would like to travel in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. A few decades ago,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the rich can afford to travel since they can spend more. This essay will discuss the reason for increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and the benefits of it.

To commence with, the
first
and foremost reason is the competition in transport industry. Long ago, there were few airlines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they control the prices of the tickets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as there is a drop in the prices due to development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
airlines which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it affordable for a medium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.
Moreover
, trips can
be planned
using internet these days. They can select the best route for them to decrease the cost and increase the stay time.

There are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
benefits that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
Initially
, person can explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
all over the world.
Secondly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the various religions, customs and the culture followed at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to eat the exotic foods. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience can give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
insight on
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
life and the environment.
For instance
, 3 months ago, I visited
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaisalmer
, Ajmer and Jaipur with my friends on a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "one-week"
one week
trip. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
fares were quite affordable and after book the tickets, I then searched the accommodation for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
on internet. We
really
enjoyed the cultural program and sight seeing by guided tour over their.

To recapitulate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
points, that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advantages and the
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
experience they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
Furthermore
, this trend will increase in the future.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In this question learners were asked to discuss why people travel more these days and to think about the benefits of travel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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