Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

121. Some learners of a new language like to study at least 1-2 hours every day. Other learners prefer to study the new language 2-3 times a week for 2-3 hours each time. Which do you prefer and why? v.1

121. Some learners of a new language like to study at least 1-2 hours every day. Other learners prefer to study the new language 2-3 times a week for 2-3 hours each time. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1
Health services are important as diseases are increasing. It is argued that whether it should be free or it is the responsibility of the government. I think it is the duty of government to take care of their citizens. This essay discusses regarding their role in the health sector. To embark with, since citizens are paying huge taxes, it is the sole duty of government to provide free medical facilities. The government should reach every corner of the country to help people regarding health issues. For example, polio vaccines should be provided free of cost to everyone, since it harms infants. In addition, as the population is increasing, more hospitals should be established to accommodate patients. If not, the government should expand or upgrade their medical facilities in existing health care for instant treatment of patients. In fact, in India, underdeveloped hospitals fail to provide fast care, resulting in even worse condition. Therefore, a lot of lives can be saved, in case of emergencies. Furthermore, poor people, who cannot afford expensive treatment, should be covered under government care. The Government should launch different schemes to undertake underprivileged people to access health care services. To illustrate, free medical camps should be launched at every corner for general health check. Thus, people can acknowledge it. Moreover, heavy penalty should be charged for those hospitals, who denies to treat poor ones for less price To conclude, although health services cannot be free as it costs a lot to maintain this sector. The Government should come forward to make enough budget towards health care. So that health is not being compromised due to lack of treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
services are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as diseases are increasing. It
is argued
that whether it should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
or it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their citizens. This essay discusses regarding their role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector.

To embark with, since citizens are paying huge taxes, it is the sole duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical facilities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should reach every corner of the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
For example
, polio vaccines should
be provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost to everyone, since it harms infants.

In addition
, as the population is increasing, more hospitals should
be established
to accommodate patients. If not, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should expand or upgrade their medical facilities in existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for instant treatment of patients. In fact, in India, underdeveloped hospitals fail to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, resulting in even worse condition.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can
be saved
, in case of emergencies.

Furthermore
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who cannot afford expensive treatment, should
be covered
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should launch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
schemes to undertake underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical camps should
be launched
at every corner for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acknowledge it.
Moreover
, heavy penalty should
be charged
for those hospitals, who
The verb 'denies' is used with the gerund form: "denies treating".
denies to treat
poor ones for less price

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
as it costs a lot to maintain this sector. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not
being compromised
due to lack of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
treatment
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 121. Some learners of a new language like to study at least 1-2 hours every day. Other learners prefer to study the new language 2-3 times a week for 2-3 hours each time. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts